college here i am
so i survived the week of loneliness and im finally here at school. the first weekend was nice- ironic because ive shaken my head at kids who hang out with people from home a lot when they go away but my one alcoholic event was with a fellow smithtowner. the freshman stuff they planned was alright. i guess im really thrilled that classes are starting tomorrow because im sick of forcing conversation with people i dont know. im excited to have an excuse to always be doing something to distract myself from this giant hole i know is in my heart
steve irwin died today, i know its not really going to affect my life in any way but i cant help but being saddend by it. it just figures that good [funny] people like him always croak when the really awful people always find a way to somehow live forever.
i dont know why im writing this again after my three month hiatus, i guess im just bored. its 11:20 and frankly i jsut want to go to sleep. the whole floor is still up and buzzing and people are drinking and ugh. i dont know. maybe i should have just gotten myself a single.
i miss my mom and my dad and my dogs and emma. i miss having my own space. i miss shaun! god i miss shaun. but i guess it was really good that i went away this summer it ended up making this whole being apart thing a lot easier.
the girls on my floor are pretty nice. i barely know half of them by name but i meet a couple new ones every few days so hopefully by the end of the next few weeks ill at least know the first names. i feel like so many people are rushing to make all these girl/guy friends that by the end of second semester theyre not even going to talk to. does me not wanting to throw myself out thehre make me antisocial? probably a little bit but im also avoiding the fakeness that shows what a short time ago everyone here was in high school.
i just want to get into class and meet people with similar interests. i want tohave things to do and i want october sixth to get here. im so excited about spending an entire three night/day completely unsupervised long weekend with my boyfriend. im also pumped about feeling all independent and traveling by myself.
i guess i just came here thinking things with other people would be so much better than in high school and ive found myself royally dissapointed. its not that i havent met nice people because i REALLY have. and its not like its even been that long yet either, once i get into my volunteer organization and i start riding again hopefully ill meet people i can relate to more, i guess i was just hpoing that coming here would solve all the problems ive been wrestling with over the past four years
blah. im so blah now.
goodnight.
steve irwin died today, i know its not really going to affect my life in any way but i cant help but being saddend by it. it just figures that good [funny] people like him always croak when the really awful people always find a way to somehow live forever.
i dont know why im writing this again after my three month hiatus, i guess im just bored. its 11:20 and frankly i jsut want to go to sleep. the whole floor is still up and buzzing and people are drinking and ugh. i dont know. maybe i should have just gotten myself a single.
i miss my mom and my dad and my dogs and emma. i miss having my own space. i miss shaun! god i miss shaun. but i guess it was really good that i went away this summer it ended up making this whole being apart thing a lot easier.
the girls on my floor are pretty nice. i barely know half of them by name but i meet a couple new ones every few days so hopefully by the end of the next few weeks ill at least know the first names. i feel like so many people are rushing to make all these girl/guy friends that by the end of second semester theyre not even going to talk to. does me not wanting to throw myself out thehre make me antisocial? probably a little bit but im also avoiding the fakeness that shows what a short time ago everyone here was in high school.
i just want to get into class and meet people with similar interests. i want tohave things to do and i want october sixth to get here. im so excited about spending an entire three night/day completely unsupervised long weekend with my boyfriend. im also pumped about feeling all independent and traveling by myself.
i guess i just came here thinking things with other people would be so much better than in high school and ive found myself royally dissapointed. its not that i havent met nice people because i REALLY have. and its not like its even been that long yet either, once i get into my volunteer organization and i start riding again hopefully ill meet people i can relate to more, i guess i was just hpoing that coming here would solve all the problems ive been wrestling with over the past four years
blah. im so blah now.
goodnight.