Hurting and Being Hurt
Hmmm... So Ben's ex-girlfriend and the girl I have always, ALWAYS, been immensely jealous of, replied to my last entry. I am sooo confused. I hate hurting other people... but now I am sooo happy... and yet, my happiness was a result of her pain. I hate that. I really really hate that. I love Ben. But... I never wanted to hurt Melody. Even sophomore year I was jealous of her. When Ben and I were dating. Because... she had a past with him. And I didn't. And she kissed him before I ever did... and that made me jealous. *sigh* I really don't know. And I'm still jealous of her. Because she had Ben. I know I have him now, so that makes no sense... but its true. Heh... I still really really really really really love her name. I think that her name is so beautiful. That is the first thing that I though the first time that Ben mentioned her. That her name is absolutely beautiful. I totally want to name my baby girl Melody some day. I'll ask Ben. *sigh* Well... for anyone who is reading this: I never meant to hurt her. Please understand that. I never meant to hurt anybody.