Ugh.
Sometimes you can't control who you get email from. This one is from someone I can't put on my spam list. Oy. I think you will be stunned by the hatred and idiocy in this message.
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WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is
now to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money
saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of
the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
World Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
China. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded, and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to
this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those
tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be
turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New
York.
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put them? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling
for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for
decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this
decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying,
"darn tootin!" Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent
life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just
about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America.
It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to
eliminate World Cup Soccer from America . To the nations on List 1, a
final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the
nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak
Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read
this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a
soldier.
(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens!
Let's get this to every USA computer!)
-----
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is
now to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money
saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of
the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
World Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
China. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded, and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to
this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those
tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be
turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New
York.
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put them? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling
for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for
decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this
decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying,
"darn tootin!" Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent
life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just
about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America.
It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to
eliminate World Cup Soccer from America . To the nations on List 1, a
final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the
nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak
Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read
this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a
soldier.
(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens!
Let's get this to every USA computer!)