Fox update
No, not Faux News.
Although I don't tend to post to my LJ anymore, I thought I'd put this up here, so I can update my friends and family to my current situation, without having to tell the same thing twenty different times.
It's a fairly long story, but the tl;dr version is that, through a series of spectacularly shitty luck -- and I believe I can actually use that word without hyperbole -- and poor decision making, I am currently staying at a flophouse in Lowell (Michigan). So yes, I have a roof over my head and a pillow under it. Well, not at this moment. The van is running just fine, though it is desperately in need of an oil change. The good news here is that now that I have a stable (for the time being) base, I can plant my feet, sort out my head and start over, focusing on getting a job right here locally. As great as the courier gig was, it's fairly impossible to get the momentum going in the right direction if you have to split the income between fuel and living expenses, such as food and rent and all the other fun parts of life. IE, wasn't really a good idea, though it seemed like one at the time (where have I heard that one before).
This past summer, after I got laid off from Reliable, I... well, the only way to put it would be that I just broke, emotionally speaking. Yes, I was still interacting with friends, going over to my sister's home to do yard work, and such. But with repeated failures to procure work for myself, I let myself get into a funk. A really, really deep one. And eventually the eviction notice came, and the lights went out, and I had to abandon ship. A former girlfriend of mine was kind enough to let me stay in her living room for a while. Then she got an eviction notice as well (I still have no idea what that was all about, she says she was never late with the rent). Fortunately she was able to quickly get into another apartment, and I helped her move. In the meanwhile, Reliable called me back (this was about two months after they laid me off). I figured that if they were calling me before so many other drivers (apparently 50-60 of us were laid off) who all would have had far more seniority, since I had only four months with them, that they wanted me in particular, so I decided to hook back up with them. This probably wasn't a good idea, but nothing else was biting, despite all of the resumes I flung everywhere. And maybe it might have worked out, or maybe it just would have delayed the inevitable, had Deanna not asked for her living room back. To be fair, it was stressful on the both of us, and that's not really much of a way to live in the first place. She had found an extended-stay motel, and I was able to pay for a few nights to try to make it to my next paycheck. Except that everything else I tried to get enough extra cash fell through, and I was a night short (with one night unpaid). It didn't help that I had promised I could pay on Thursday, as I was anticipating my paycheck then. Technically they're not supposed to be available until Friday, but for whatever reason we get them first, and most of the time (in the first four months, this only failed to happen twice) we get them on Thursday. Well, make that three times. I was able to get a quick loan wired to me from a friend, so was able to get a room for the day (I had to wait until 7 AM to be able to pick it up). Then I got my paycheck, and I could pay for the first motel room. It was a pretty nice arrangement, the room came with a stove, fridge, microwave, satellite TV, and wi-fi Internet, at a cost of $160 a week. I figured I'd be able to handle that, as when I was at my peak earlier in the summer I had worked myself up to bringing in $500, then $700 and at the end mid-$800s per week, although I was nowhere near that yet. It's a momentum thing, with the courier job. You put more money in the tank and do more jobs, you get more money that you have available to put in the tank. If you can't put much in the tank, then you can't do many jobs, and you don't get much money, and so you can't put much in the tank, and so on. The momentum builds both directions. When I was making $800 a week, I was working 9-12 hour days, seven days a week. And I'd gone through everything I had before I had been hired back. This was largely due to very poor decisions during that time, including eating out most meals, since I could no longer cook at home after the microwave blew up (almost literally) and the counter top electric stove developed some kind of problem with its grounding, and delivering voltage to the pots and plans placed on top of it. Yes, I could have gotten replacements for either, but by that point, my giveashit and run out completely.
That was pretty much the beginning of the end of that job. I couldn't put enough gas in the tank, rent to the motel, and food in my belly with the checks. Plus, the van's mileage has gotten significantly worse since then as well. I ended up running completely out of gas multiple times, and that was affecting my job performance. The kicker was some phenomenally shitty luck: I got a flat tire (I have no idea what might have happened to it), and while sitting in the parking lot of a gas station to wait for a friend to get home from work so I could beg a ride, some stupid little bitch shot out the back window. I could not begin to speculate why. It wasn't not one of those bad neighborhoods, in fact it wasn't any kind of neighborhood at all (commercial zone). And I can't say for certain someone shot it out, but there's no other rational explanation that I can comprehend, given that most of the glass was in the back of the van, rather than on the ground. As I had stopped paying the insurance when I was laid off, my sister helped me with putting plastic sheeting over the window, and I tried to keep going as well as I could. But evidently the Reliable office found out about it, and they said I could no longer work for them, because my vehicle was considered insecure, so I could no longer transport narcotics, and we never know what's in the brown paper bags that are stapled shut when they hand it to us. Yes, a brown paper bag stapled shut is considered secure, while plastic sheeting replacing a glass window that really isn't all that difficult to break is not. The oddest part of it, however was that when the owner of the company (came all the way over from Detroit to fire me) was giving me my walking papers, he cited 'multiple writeups', which was only slightly different from my awareness of exactly one warning, a verbal, which I was aware of because I heard it. There were no other disciplinary warnings that I had ever been made aware of. Though thinking about it, I probably did have some days where my On Time Percentages were unacceptable (for instance, almost each time I ran out of gas completely), though I do believe that on the whole they were well within acceptable limits. It took me a while to get the hang of things in the very beginning, but I think I was pretty good at figuring which jobs to take and how to get them there on time without overburdening myself, by the time they laid me off. And I also believe that the fact that they brought me back before so many other drivers who all would have had far more seniority and experience verifies this. At any rate, my financial situation was interfering with my job performance. They just didn't bother to tell me.
That was pretty much it. I tried finding work in the general area around the motel, which wasn't happening. After the week of motel rent from my final check ran out, I didn't have many choices at all. I had considered asking various friends for money to stay at the motel longer, but that probably would have been yet another bad decision. Fortunately, my sister and her husband were brainstorming, and he remembered an old friend of his (they grew up together) that had several houses in Lowell. We talked to him, and he does anticipate having an efficiency freed up, as soon as the current occupants move out of it -- they're waiting on someone else to move out of a 2BR apartment that this same person also owns. In the meantime, he's renting me a room for $50 a week, which he's letting me take my time on (until Dec. 2, which is almost two weeks total time). And it's just a room; there's no stove or sink, but there is a very small microwave that claims 700 watts but probably doesn't quite get that high, and a mini-fridge with a broken door, though the door still forms a seal so it is usable. Still, it is a lot easier to just take the door off when I need something, rather than trying to monkey with the broken hinge. I have been able to hang on to my computer (my most prized possession), and I have a USB wi-fi modem that another friend generously provided. Unfortunately all 7 networks in the area are locked, but he's loaned me the use of his Verizon mobile hot spot generator the the last couple nights so I can do job searches online, though I imagine he's going to want it back sooner than later. My sister has provided some food, however, as well as more yard work for extra cash, though it wasn't much and is mostly gone. But I still have capabilities, and possibilities, and my no-hope is mostly gone. I can't say I'm completely cured, so to speak, but my sister helped me to shake my head enough to mostly clear it out, and she provides continued moral support.
This isn't a plea for help, though I will admit that I wouldn't turn my nose up at any offers. And no negative feelings if there are none. Most of us are hurting these days, and I know other people who, though they have excellent-paying jobs are still going paycheck to paycheck, or at least rent check to rent check. Said sister has only the occasional consulting contract, and her husband, who is the office manager for a local Realtor, hasn't sold a house in... I think it's been at least a full year now, possibly two. Besides, I've been a big enough drain on personal friends, as well as my sister. But at least I can see the sky through the clouds, now.
Although I don't tend to post to my LJ anymore, I thought I'd put this up here, so I can update my friends and family to my current situation, without having to tell the same thing twenty different times.
It's a fairly long story, but the tl;dr version is that, through a series of spectacularly shitty luck -- and I believe I can actually use that word without hyperbole -- and poor decision making, I am currently staying at a flophouse in Lowell (Michigan). So yes, I have a roof over my head and a pillow under it. Well, not at this moment. The van is running just fine, though it is desperately in need of an oil change. The good news here is that now that I have a stable (for the time being) base, I can plant my feet, sort out my head and start over, focusing on getting a job right here locally. As great as the courier gig was, it's fairly impossible to get the momentum going in the right direction if you have to split the income between fuel and living expenses, such as food and rent and all the other fun parts of life. IE, wasn't really a good idea, though it seemed like one at the time (where have I heard that one before).
This past summer, after I got laid off from Reliable, I... well, the only way to put it would be that I just broke, emotionally speaking. Yes, I was still interacting with friends, going over to my sister's home to do yard work, and such. But with repeated failures to procure work for myself, I let myself get into a funk. A really, really deep one. And eventually the eviction notice came, and the lights went out, and I had to abandon ship. A former girlfriend of mine was kind enough to let me stay in her living room for a while. Then she got an eviction notice as well (I still have no idea what that was all about, she says she was never late with the rent). Fortunately she was able to quickly get into another apartment, and I helped her move. In the meanwhile, Reliable called me back (this was about two months after they laid me off). I figured that if they were calling me before so many other drivers (apparently 50-60 of us were laid off) who all would have had far more seniority, since I had only four months with them, that they wanted me in particular, so I decided to hook back up with them. This probably wasn't a good idea, but nothing else was biting, despite all of the resumes I flung everywhere. And maybe it might have worked out, or maybe it just would have delayed the inevitable, had Deanna not asked for her living room back. To be fair, it was stressful on the both of us, and that's not really much of a way to live in the first place. She had found an extended-stay motel, and I was able to pay for a few nights to try to make it to my next paycheck. Except that everything else I tried to get enough extra cash fell through, and I was a night short (with one night unpaid). It didn't help that I had promised I could pay on Thursday, as I was anticipating my paycheck then. Technically they're not supposed to be available until Friday, but for whatever reason we get them first, and most of the time (in the first four months, this only failed to happen twice) we get them on Thursday. Well, make that three times. I was able to get a quick loan wired to me from a friend, so was able to get a room for the day (I had to wait until 7 AM to be able to pick it up). Then I got my paycheck, and I could pay for the first motel room. It was a pretty nice arrangement, the room came with a stove, fridge, microwave, satellite TV, and wi-fi Internet, at a cost of $160 a week. I figured I'd be able to handle that, as when I was at my peak earlier in the summer I had worked myself up to bringing in $500, then $700 and at the end mid-$800s per week, although I was nowhere near that yet. It's a momentum thing, with the courier job. You put more money in the tank and do more jobs, you get more money that you have available to put in the tank. If you can't put much in the tank, then you can't do many jobs, and you don't get much money, and so you can't put much in the tank, and so on. The momentum builds both directions. When I was making $800 a week, I was working 9-12 hour days, seven days a week. And I'd gone through everything I had before I had been hired back. This was largely due to very poor decisions during that time, including eating out most meals, since I could no longer cook at home after the microwave blew up (almost literally) and the counter top electric stove developed some kind of problem with its grounding, and delivering voltage to the pots and plans placed on top of it. Yes, I could have gotten replacements for either, but by that point, my giveashit and run out completely.
That was pretty much the beginning of the end of that job. I couldn't put enough gas in the tank, rent to the motel, and food in my belly with the checks. Plus, the van's mileage has gotten significantly worse since then as well. I ended up running completely out of gas multiple times, and that was affecting my job performance. The kicker was some phenomenally shitty luck: I got a flat tire (I have no idea what might have happened to it), and while sitting in the parking lot of a gas station to wait for a friend to get home from work so I could beg a ride, some stupid little bitch shot out the back window. I could not begin to speculate why. It wasn't not one of those bad neighborhoods, in fact it wasn't any kind of neighborhood at all (commercial zone). And I can't say for certain someone shot it out, but there's no other rational explanation that I can comprehend, given that most of the glass was in the back of the van, rather than on the ground. As I had stopped paying the insurance when I was laid off, my sister helped me with putting plastic sheeting over the window, and I tried to keep going as well as I could. But evidently the Reliable office found out about it, and they said I could no longer work for them, because my vehicle was considered insecure, so I could no longer transport narcotics, and we never know what's in the brown paper bags that are stapled shut when they hand it to us. Yes, a brown paper bag stapled shut is considered secure, while plastic sheeting replacing a glass window that really isn't all that difficult to break is not. The oddest part of it, however was that when the owner of the company (came all the way over from Detroit to fire me) was giving me my walking papers, he cited 'multiple writeups', which was only slightly different from my awareness of exactly one warning, a verbal, which I was aware of because I heard it. There were no other disciplinary warnings that I had ever been made aware of. Though thinking about it, I probably did have some days where my On Time Percentages were unacceptable (for instance, almost each time I ran out of gas completely), though I do believe that on the whole they were well within acceptable limits. It took me a while to get the hang of things in the very beginning, but I think I was pretty good at figuring which jobs to take and how to get them there on time without overburdening myself, by the time they laid me off. And I also believe that the fact that they brought me back before so many other drivers who all would have had far more seniority and experience verifies this. At any rate, my financial situation was interfering with my job performance. They just didn't bother to tell me.
That was pretty much it. I tried finding work in the general area around the motel, which wasn't happening. After the week of motel rent from my final check ran out, I didn't have many choices at all. I had considered asking various friends for money to stay at the motel longer, but that probably would have been yet another bad decision. Fortunately, my sister and her husband were brainstorming, and he remembered an old friend of his (they grew up together) that had several houses in Lowell. We talked to him, and he does anticipate having an efficiency freed up, as soon as the current occupants move out of it -- they're waiting on someone else to move out of a 2BR apartment that this same person also owns. In the meantime, he's renting me a room for $50 a week, which he's letting me take my time on (until Dec. 2, which is almost two weeks total time). And it's just a room; there's no stove or sink, but there is a very small microwave that claims 700 watts but probably doesn't quite get that high, and a mini-fridge with a broken door, though the door still forms a seal so it is usable. Still, it is a lot easier to just take the door off when I need something, rather than trying to monkey with the broken hinge. I have been able to hang on to my computer (my most prized possession), and I have a USB wi-fi modem that another friend generously provided. Unfortunately all 7 networks in the area are locked, but he's loaned me the use of his Verizon mobile hot spot generator the the last couple nights so I can do job searches online, though I imagine he's going to want it back sooner than later. My sister has provided some food, however, as well as more yard work for extra cash, though it wasn't much and is mostly gone. But I still have capabilities, and possibilities, and my no-hope is mostly gone. I can't say I'm completely cured, so to speak, but my sister helped me to shake my head enough to mostly clear it out, and she provides continued moral support.
This isn't a plea for help, though I will admit that I wouldn't turn my nose up at any offers. And no negative feelings if there are none. Most of us are hurting these days, and I know other people who, though they have excellent-paying jobs are still going paycheck to paycheck, or at least rent check to rent check. Said sister has only the occasional consulting contract, and her husband, who is the office manager for a local Realtor, hasn't sold a house in... I think it's been at least a full year now, possibly two. Besides, I've been a big enough drain on personal friends, as well as my sister. But at least I can see the sky through the clouds, now.