The Handbag...
So I went into Manchester to shop and at some point I decided to pop into Argos to flick through the magazine. After a few minutes I got hungry and so headed off to the Food Court. Upon reaching said court I registered that my load suddenly felt significantly lighter so I looked down at my hand and yes, I had absentmindedly left it at Argos. Anyhow I trotted blithely back to Argos and again to the Food Court now plus one fat purse. It was only later, while reflecting on the incident on the bus, that I felt how dangerous this entirely innocent episode could have been had it happened in the wrong place, namely the US. Sadly, I have a sickening feeling that if I went to a random shop in New York, and I will be doing so soon, that I would most certainly be closely watched because of my headscarf- and any similar fit of absentmindedness would have resulted in immediate arrest. Perhaps that's an exaggeration- I don't know. But it should be- it should be a preposterous thought- and that it's a real fear is the strangest and most horrible thing. When I go to France and New York this year- and anywhere else- I am not going to allow myself to feel like an intruder in any way. I don't feel like one here- ever- and I *never* assume somebody will think I'm scary or a threat because I wear a headscarf. And I won't accept that people will justifiably think so anywhere else. Heck I know there are enemies out there- of all kinds- but I really ain't one of them. *sigh* Why do I even feel I have to state it?
I keep realising though, everyday, how all these world crises and terrorist acts have the most direct, awful and really frustrating through to infuriating impact on my life, personally I mean. Everytime something happens- that school in Russia, or all the hostage taking- I feel physically sick, like a cold dread, not only for the act, but also because I think it might allow people to hate us, to think we're part of it. A couple of days ago my sister's friend from Uni was put under hotel arrest in Israel for honestly no other reason except that she was a Muslim visiting. And yes I know they're afraid of suicide bombing but again it comes down to the same thing then- any Muslim is suspect... For as long as I'm able to, I won't believe that.
I keep realising though, everyday, how all these world crises and terrorist acts have the most direct, awful and really frustrating through to infuriating impact on my life, personally I mean. Everytime something happens- that school in Russia, or all the hostage taking- I feel physically sick, like a cold dread, not only for the act, but also because I think it might allow people to hate us, to think we're part of it. A couple of days ago my sister's friend from Uni was put under hotel arrest in Israel for honestly no other reason except that she was a Muslim visiting. And yes I know they're afraid of suicide bombing but again it comes down to the same thing then- any Muslim is suspect... For as long as I'm able to, I won't believe that.