From May 16th 2006
Even though i don't have internet at the moment i thought it would be a good idea for me to still keep a blog, That way i can get things off of my chest so that i do not go any crazier then i am already. Most likely when i get internet these will go into my blog.
I haven't had internet for approximatly 6 months now. I never thought i could live without my internet for that long but, surprise, surprise. I've been trying to keep myself busy that way i don't seriously have a nervous breakdown or anything like that.
December 13th i got a call from my grandpa and his girlfriend Lucy, Lucy started crying telling me my mom wouldn't eat or take her medication anymore. My heart broke as i dropped the phone. For so long i was convinced that she was going to come home this time just like all the other times she got sick and then got better and came home to me.
My mom passed away on December 15th, 2005. It was the hardest thing i have ever had to attempt to deal with. I went and saw her the day before and.. She didn't look at all like my mom, it looked like a complete stranger. I went and saw her a week before and she was happy and talking
and in one week she went down hill real fast i couldn't believe it. I stayed with her for almost 8 hours and the whole time all i did was cry, i tried so hard to be tough and not to cry in front of everybody but i couldn't, after months and months of knowing it was going to happen and trying to be so damn tough i had a break down.
Everyone told me that i needed to be alone with her, so that i could tell her it was alright. It took me over an hour for those words that seem so simple to say to come out of my mouth. She couldn't talk or really keep her eyes open, but she managed to say Tiara and to say that she loved me. I still cry for her, alot.
I know she is in a better place now and finally out of pain which was the only thing she ever really wanted. Some days i still don't want to get out of bed because i miss her so much.
After over a year of looking for work Casey and i both have decent jobs ( Well atleast Casey does! ) Casey is doing maintainence jobs for a 3 trailer courts in town getting $10/hour and sometimes he works for a water company and get $15/hour. As for me i'm working with my brother, The only good to come out of everything that has
happened is that my brother and i are finally getting along. He helped me get a job for the pizza place he is working for, It's not much being i only get to work 2 hours a day, 2 days a week, but for now it is better then nothing.
I get paid again on the 20th and i am hoping that i will have a good enough check ( my last checks were $30 and $50 ) so that i can get a phone hooked up and i can have internet again. I found a company where you don't have to pay a connection fee or anything but it costs $50 a month and the other phone company is $20 a month and
you have to pay like a $100 connection fee. So i'm still debating which one would be the better deal of the two.
I haven't had internet for approximatly 6 months now. I never thought i could live without my internet for that long but, surprise, surprise. I've been trying to keep myself busy that way i don't seriously have a nervous breakdown or anything like that.
December 13th i got a call from my grandpa and his girlfriend Lucy, Lucy started crying telling me my mom wouldn't eat or take her medication anymore. My heart broke as i dropped the phone. For so long i was convinced that she was going to come home this time just like all the other times she got sick and then got better and came home to me.
My mom passed away on December 15th, 2005. It was the hardest thing i have ever had to attempt to deal with. I went and saw her the day before and.. She didn't look at all like my mom, it looked like a complete stranger. I went and saw her a week before and she was happy and talking
and in one week she went down hill real fast i couldn't believe it. I stayed with her for almost 8 hours and the whole time all i did was cry, i tried so hard to be tough and not to cry in front of everybody but i couldn't, after months and months of knowing it was going to happen and trying to be so damn tough i had a break down.
Everyone told me that i needed to be alone with her, so that i could tell her it was alright. It took me over an hour for those words that seem so simple to say to come out of my mouth. She couldn't talk or really keep her eyes open, but she managed to say Tiara and to say that she loved me. I still cry for her, alot.
I know she is in a better place now and finally out of pain which was the only thing she ever really wanted. Some days i still don't want to get out of bed because i miss her so much.
After over a year of looking for work Casey and i both have decent jobs ( Well atleast Casey does! ) Casey is doing maintainence jobs for a 3 trailer courts in town getting $10/hour and sometimes he works for a water company and get $15/hour. As for me i'm working with my brother, The only good to come out of everything that has
happened is that my brother and i are finally getting along. He helped me get a job for the pizza place he is working for, It's not much being i only get to work 2 hours a day, 2 days a week, but for now it is better then nothing.
I get paid again on the 20th and i am hoping that i will have a good enough check ( my last checks were $30 and $50 ) so that i can get a phone hooked up and i can have internet again. I found a company where you don't have to pay a connection fee or anything but it costs $50 a month and the other phone company is $20 a month and
you have to pay like a $100 connection fee. So i'm still debating which one would be the better deal of the two.