refuse to feel, anything at all
i don't get it. i don't fucking get it. she loved me so much over the past 19 months...why would she cheat on me with him? And him, my best friend who i haven't seen for 22 months...my best friend who i took under my wing and introduced him to her once he got back...fuck him...fuck everything the past month holds and stands for...
and journal i swear to god if it wasn't for the sincerity in her voice and the promise from her eyes i would've been gone since the day before i found out. i miss her.
i start therapy soon for anger management and depression. i know i have a problem. i never should have kept everything inside this past weekend. i never should have burned every picture of her and him, i never should have punched a hole in her wall that almost went into the next room. i never should have jumped out her second story window. i never should have trusted her.
look, no matter what anyone tells me, and no matter what anyone tries to show me, i will always love this girl with all my heart and soul. but last night i told her i needed a solid week to calm down, and see how life is. a solid week to find myself.
she said that she still wanted to be friends with him. i can't live with that. it's not happening. if she decides to stay friends with him then i decide to leave and never come back.
staci if you're reading this which you probably aren't, know that i feel like i haven't seen you in 2 years. know that i want to run to your house right now and hold you till the day i'm pried from your shoulders. know that no matter what: i love you, but that if he is even close to being considered a part of your life, then i'll be the furthest thing from it.
go back to the park off apache...go back to when we went to stacy's house and took that walk. go back nineteen months, but stop at every memory inbetween. are you ready to give that all up?
i'm not...but i can. and i will faster than you can kiss him behind my back.
staci you were my distraction from the harsh reality i had to live with every day. you were my remedy for the sorrows that tried tearing my apart. i miss the glow in your eyes after i kissed you for the first time; i miss the kid inside you that came out every time you laughed.
its been hours since i last waved at you
days since we last spoke
and weeks since we've felt the closeness, comfort, and compassion that made me realize that you are the one person in my life that i want to give the world to
in other words, i really miss being with you
..and not just that
i miss the person who gives me this cheer
i miss everything you are, and want everything we could be
think long and kiss me hard
-robby
and journal i swear to god if it wasn't for the sincerity in her voice and the promise from her eyes i would've been gone since the day before i found out. i miss her.
i start therapy soon for anger management and depression. i know i have a problem. i never should have kept everything inside this past weekend. i never should have burned every picture of her and him, i never should have punched a hole in her wall that almost went into the next room. i never should have jumped out her second story window. i never should have trusted her.
look, no matter what anyone tells me, and no matter what anyone tries to show me, i will always love this girl with all my heart and soul. but last night i told her i needed a solid week to calm down, and see how life is. a solid week to find myself.
she said that she still wanted to be friends with him. i can't live with that. it's not happening. if she decides to stay friends with him then i decide to leave and never come back.
staci if you're reading this which you probably aren't, know that i feel like i haven't seen you in 2 years. know that i want to run to your house right now and hold you till the day i'm pried from your shoulders. know that no matter what: i love you, but that if he is even close to being considered a part of your life, then i'll be the furthest thing from it.
go back to the park off apache...go back to when we went to stacy's house and took that walk. go back nineteen months, but stop at every memory inbetween. are you ready to give that all up?
i'm not...but i can. and i will faster than you can kiss him behind my back.
staci you were my distraction from the harsh reality i had to live with every day. you were my remedy for the sorrows that tried tearing my apart. i miss the glow in your eyes after i kissed you for the first time; i miss the kid inside you that came out every time you laughed.
its been hours since i last waved at you
days since we last spoke
and weeks since we've felt the closeness, comfort, and compassion that made me realize that you are the one person in my life that i want to give the world to
in other words, i really miss being with you
..and not just that
i miss the person who gives me this cheer
i miss everything you are, and want everything we could be
think long and kiss me hard
-robby