So When Is Life Going To Happen For Me?
This is a question I think about with each coming year and with each year it passes, I get a lil older and still nothing! I'm a 36 yr old woman (37 this yr sadly) and life seems to be just passing me by and well I feel lost.
I see ppl enter relationships, stay together, get married, have kids, have a decent/good career, grow financially and things move on as they should. For me? Well none of this happens and I seem to be somewhat lost, or missed the great gravey boat! I often think who am I? Where am I going? what am I doing or not doing which is right or wrong?
Relationships, well I have had to learn the hard way but I suppose we all do...just some ppl learn a lot quicker then the rest of us that don't. I have found who I am as a person and now looking for that special person that knows who they are! Searching for that balance in everything when at the mo my scales are all tipped the wrong way in every area. I'm not going to be what someone wants me to be but I'm just going to be me, straight, honest, direct lil me and would like whoever I finally catch in my lil web to be the same. Of course ppl have differences but I'm sick of the liars, the cheaters, the mind game players, the moulders (try to make you into something your not), unfaithful and all the other negative aspects of what it generally classed as human.
I want no secrets or surprises, no hidden skeletons or drama. I just want to be in love and not have to untwist, unlock someone elses bagage and feel that maybe I'm going to be a bachelorette/spinster for the rest of my life... We are all fundementally lonely creatures that want that special someone and some will even change themselves to fit a mould, to please the other but that's not me and in anycase that relationship shatters in the end as it's based on unstable base structures that just topples over...
I want someone to know who I am and for me to know who they are, as this is then the perfect stable relationship but then does that person exist and will I be waiting for the impossible. I feel I'm one of those genuine ppl but have got there through my own experiences but do other genuine ppl exist or has the world since become bitter and twisted further.
You know I really envy and jealous of stupid people because they have too much an easy life. They always say with intelligence and thought comes pain and drama because you just probe, then you think, then you probe some more, then you ponder even more and you keep doing this...years pass...then your dead!!
Life should give me a lucky break for once as it has to get better than this!!
I see ppl enter relationships, stay together, get married, have kids, have a decent/good career, grow financially and things move on as they should. For me? Well none of this happens and I seem to be somewhat lost, or missed the great gravey boat! I often think who am I? Where am I going? what am I doing or not doing which is right or wrong?
Relationships, well I have had to learn the hard way but I suppose we all do...just some ppl learn a lot quicker then the rest of us that don't. I have found who I am as a person and now looking for that special person that knows who they are! Searching for that balance in everything when at the mo my scales are all tipped the wrong way in every area. I'm not going to be what someone wants me to be but I'm just going to be me, straight, honest, direct lil me and would like whoever I finally catch in my lil web to be the same. Of course ppl have differences but I'm sick of the liars, the cheaters, the mind game players, the moulders (try to make you into something your not), unfaithful and all the other negative aspects of what it generally classed as human.
I want no secrets or surprises, no hidden skeletons or drama. I just want to be in love and not have to untwist, unlock someone elses bagage and feel that maybe I'm going to be a bachelorette/spinster for the rest of my life... We are all fundementally lonely creatures that want that special someone and some will even change themselves to fit a mould, to please the other but that's not me and in anycase that relationship shatters in the end as it's based on unstable base structures that just topples over...
I want someone to know who I am and for me to know who they are, as this is then the perfect stable relationship but then does that person exist and will I be waiting for the impossible. I feel I'm one of those genuine ppl but have got there through my own experiences but do other genuine ppl exist or has the world since become bitter and twisted further.
You know I really envy and jealous of stupid people because they have too much an easy life. They always say with intelligence and thought comes pain and drama because you just probe, then you think, then you probe some more, then you ponder even more and you keep doing this...years pass...then your dead!!
Life should give me a lucky break for once as it has to get better than this!!