(no subject)
By the time I get to live journal I dont even want to expend the energy I need to type. I dont want to think anymore about why I'm depressed, or why my knife is a little closer to my hand than normal. Most of the time, I shut it out. You can ask at this point, "whats wrong?" and I couldnt tell you. I dont know anymore at this point. I just shove this little hurt and that minor heartbreak into the same little box where they all just kind of mesh into the murky puddle of un-love. I dont know the why's at this point, all I know is my heart hurts, I'm tired, I'm depressed and if I could I'd sleep all day to escape.
Where do I go at this point? I'm so tired of being blown off by people. They'll make plans, and then "forget" or just flat out ignore my calls/e-mails until its past the day we were supposed to chill. I know who I'm talking about here, and it happens often enough where you really dont need to know who I'm referring to at the moment.
But it gets so old so fast. Being the one nobody really wants around. No one HATES me, but its not like I'm even the 5th person someone might call when their bored. Its not like I'm even on that list.
I'm so tired of hurting.
Where do I go at this point? I'm so tired of being blown off by people. They'll make plans, and then "forget" or just flat out ignore my calls/e-mails until its past the day we were supposed to chill. I know who I'm talking about here, and it happens often enough where you really dont need to know who I'm referring to at the moment.
But it gets so old so fast. Being the one nobody really wants around. No one HATES me, but its not like I'm even the 5th person someone might call when their bored. Its not like I'm even on that list.
I'm so tired of hurting.