(no subject)
I dont know whats wrong with me. I just cant clear my head. I had the dream, I saw him today. It just hurts so much still. Everyone on here is probably sick and tired of me, but I'm at the end of caring. No one lets me rant at them anymore because they've heard it all before. They're just like, dude shut up, I dont wanna hear it. Well sucks for you. I've decided that when I get my car, I'm going to call him to talk to him so I can at least have a real conversation to his face. I can either find out if he still loves me, or find closure. I dont know which one I want honestly. I just want that love again. Maybe not with him, but that same feeling. I dont know how long it will take me tho. I feel bad because I'm always relation people I date to him, and its not fare at all. Maybe soon I'll find someone I can love. I dont know...same old shit I guess. Same old "What if's". What if he does still love me? Will he leave his wife? Will he even agree to meet me? Probably not. Ugh...just fucking shoot me. I dont doubt that anyone would do it either. Oh well, I'll find him somewhere.