I feel like I am going a little crazy here.
Meh. I know that I only write in here when I feel down.
What do you do when you feel like you can't openly discuss how much turmoil you feel?
It seems that in this society being sad or dramatic is not only a sign of weakness but of uncoolness.
I have never felt so guilty for who I am as I feel now. It's so hard to keep the tears from rolling down. I seriously don't know what to do. How can I deal with such fear? I can't feel pressured, I don't want to. Is it right to think that if she pushes me and pressures me with this, that she doesn't care enough for me? Why must I always take other people into consideration and always forget about what I want? There is sooo much going on. It's killing me. I miss my dad. We are having financial problems. family issues. I want her but I am afraid to stress my mom for someone who hasn't even made it official. I don't want to be anyone's puppet. It angers me that people can't ever ever put themselves in the awful position I am in. Why can''t I say fuck it? Maybe we're too different to be together. Have you ever felt like not existing because you are just not what people expect you to be?
Will anyone ever care about what I want to do with myself?
Is it that I am too selfish perhaps?
Perhaps it's better to be live a life alone? Why can't she understand that she is asking something that will forever change my relationship with me mother? I hate it when I hurt. I hate wanting to cry but not being able to.
Whatever, life is a bore.
What do you do when you feel like you can't openly discuss how much turmoil you feel?
It seems that in this society being sad or dramatic is not only a sign of weakness but of uncoolness.
I have never felt so guilty for who I am as I feel now. It's so hard to keep the tears from rolling down. I seriously don't know what to do. How can I deal with such fear? I can't feel pressured, I don't want to. Is it right to think that if she pushes me and pressures me with this, that she doesn't care enough for me? Why must I always take other people into consideration and always forget about what I want? There is sooo much going on. It's killing me. I miss my dad. We are having financial problems. family issues. I want her but I am afraid to stress my mom for someone who hasn't even made it official. I don't want to be anyone's puppet. It angers me that people can't ever ever put themselves in the awful position I am in. Why can''t I say fuck it? Maybe we're too different to be together. Have you ever felt like not existing because you are just not what people expect you to be?
Will anyone ever care about what I want to do with myself?
Is it that I am too selfish perhaps?
Perhaps it's better to be live a life alone? Why can't she understand that she is asking something that will forever change my relationship with me mother? I hate it when I hurt. I hate wanting to cry but not being able to.
Whatever, life is a bore.