I won't let this build up inside of me....
I won't let this build up inside of me...
fuck. well, jordan broke things off today...I really don't care...I don't care about a whole lot these days.
I expected it. Good ol' Ashley...always a nice fuck but never a girl you'd wanna bring home to dear old mom....in most cases anyways.
Andrew cares...after all the shit we've been through/put each other through he still calls, still says he loves, still puts up with me, still trys to make me happy. I just take it all for granted. I really need to re-evaluate the person I am. There's hope for me and Andrew after a year....but I always wonder if this is it , the so called real deal...or if I'm just settleing. Fuck.
I don't wanna be this....but I won't let this build up inside of me...
Yeah, I'm listening to slipknot's Vermillion Pt. 2 on repeat....it's how i feel.
Jeremy, josh, nathan, rob,evan, Yoshi, now fucking jordan....what the fuck. So many relationships...so much hurt, lust, psuedo-love...it's all just fucking crap. Love is just a bunch of unnecessary complicated crap.
torn into pieces...
jordan didn't make me feel like this BTW...it's just me over analyzing everything and not taking my meds for a good 3 days... I'll never escape myself. No one here knows a god damn thing about me...about how i feel...the closest was jordan i guess. But now i don't want to talk to him really...not because of him, because of my ego and pride. (no self esteem but ego and pride...something seems wrong with this picture)
I think i'm going to get my last tattoo...the barbed wire surrounding the broken heart on my lower back. It symbolizes all the pain...relationships, depression, suicide attempts, the hospitals... it will be the most meaningful tattoo i'll have (maybe that's why i saved it for last)
*sigh* there's no point to this....what the fuck do you know, your just a fucking blog.
fuck. well, jordan broke things off today...I really don't care...I don't care about a whole lot these days.
I expected it. Good ol' Ashley...always a nice fuck but never a girl you'd wanna bring home to dear old mom....in most cases anyways.
Andrew cares...after all the shit we've been through/put each other through he still calls, still says he loves, still puts up with me, still trys to make me happy. I just take it all for granted. I really need to re-evaluate the person I am. There's hope for me and Andrew after a year....but I always wonder if this is it , the so called real deal...or if I'm just settleing. Fuck.
I don't wanna be this....but I won't let this build up inside of me...
Yeah, I'm listening to slipknot's Vermillion Pt. 2 on repeat....it's how i feel.
Jeremy, josh, nathan, rob,evan, Yoshi, now fucking jordan....what the fuck. So many relationships...so much hurt, lust, psuedo-love...it's all just fucking crap. Love is just a bunch of unnecessary complicated crap.
torn into pieces...
jordan didn't make me feel like this BTW...it's just me over analyzing everything and not taking my meds for a good 3 days... I'll never escape myself. No one here knows a god damn thing about me...about how i feel...the closest was jordan i guess. But now i don't want to talk to him really...not because of him, because of my ego and pride. (no self esteem but ego and pride...something seems wrong with this picture)
I think i'm going to get my last tattoo...the barbed wire surrounding the broken heart on my lower back. It symbolizes all the pain...relationships, depression, suicide attempts, the hospitals... it will be the most meaningful tattoo i'll have (maybe that's why i saved it for last)
*sigh* there's no point to this....what the fuck do you know, your just a fucking blog.