BLOB FOUND!!!!
I was bored and already thinking anyhow, so I decided to look through my old journal and came across my dear ol' friend....
I was trying to find my hugs...but I don't know where they are...*tear*
The only time that I've been able to stop thinking about things was when I was talking to ******, well, okay, so I was thinking about ****** then obviously, but I always am so...but on top of that it's still blast from the past as I cannot stop thinking of what was or what could have been...or what I could have had/done and how everything now would be totally different with one simply word. Isn't that strange...how one word, one tiny word, a minute syllable, can change your entire life and you never even realize it til it's too late and it's ends up being one of the worst things that you hate more than anything ever?!? How could something so little be so powerful and cause so many emotions? I don't understand it...I don't understand life, especially my own, but more than that I don't understand love...I'm starting to believe a friend's theory...that it's just a false emotion invented by the government. It's so hard to believe that it actually exists sometimes, and not all due to the lack of it, more to the fact that it is there and you want to believe that it's not. At least that's one thing I can do more often than not...convince myself of something...I have made myself believe that so many things that have happened haven't and that some many things aren't real....not always to my advantage. I've erased so many memories, and for a while that was good because they were just to painful to remember, but now I want them back because I feel that they could help me now. I guess this is where that whole learn from you mistakes comes in...I want to, but I can't remember some of them, or the situations involving them......
I was trying to find my hugs...but I don't know where they are...*tear*
The only time that I've been able to stop thinking about things was when I was talking to ******, well, okay, so I was thinking about ****** then obviously, but I always am so...but on top of that it's still blast from the past as I cannot stop thinking of what was or what could have been...or what I could have had/done and how everything now would be totally different with one simply word. Isn't that strange...how one word, one tiny word, a minute syllable, can change your entire life and you never even realize it til it's too late and it's ends up being one of the worst things that you hate more than anything ever?!? How could something so little be so powerful and cause so many emotions? I don't understand it...I don't understand life, especially my own, but more than that I don't understand love...I'm starting to believe a friend's theory...that it's just a false emotion invented by the government. It's so hard to believe that it actually exists sometimes, and not all due to the lack of it, more to the fact that it is there and you want to believe that it's not. At least that's one thing I can do more often than not...convince myself of something...I have made myself believe that so many things that have happened haven't and that some many things aren't real....not always to my advantage. I've erased so many memories, and for a while that was good because they were just to painful to remember, but now I want them back because I feel that they could help me now. I guess this is where that whole learn from you mistakes comes in...I want to, but I can't remember some of them, or the situations involving them......