Letters- Chapter 3
Letters Chapter 3
Title: Letters
Author: MorbidAngel_89
Pairing: Missy/Bam, Jonna/Ville, Vam
Rating: PG-13: Swearing in later chapters, implied self injury, possible character death
Summery: Can one letter save a life?
Disclaimer: I own nothing. So simple.
A/N: This chapter is a litte longer...I hope to have the next chapter up soon..maybe on sunday..I know what the last chapter will be about, but I just need to get a format...if ya know what I mean..I dunnoo..The last three chapters were pre written...so as soon as I write the forth it will be up hopefully soon. The next chapter, as of now, will probally be the last.
Thanks all!
Chapter 3- Dear Ville, I have a confession…..
(Two Weeks Later)
I’m pacing the room. He still hasn’t contacted me and I’m out of my mind with worry. I called him and what do you know, he didn’t pick up. I e-mail and call and still nothing. I called Mige to see if he was with him, but he wasn’t. He said that Ville hadn’t been around much. Says that he seems disinterested in music. If I wasn’t worried before I am now, times ten. Music is his life. He lives for it. I run upstairs and do the only thing I can think of. I write him another letter.
Dear Ville,
Hey, how’s it going? Seems like I haven’t heard from you in ages…which is actually quite true. Have you gotten any of my letters? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Well, out of all the letters I sent I really hope you get this one. It’s important. I have a confession to make. As much as I’d like to keep this all inside instead of taking the chance or ruining things between us, I need to get it off my chest before it eats me alive. I can’t pretend anymore. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and thinking between being out of my mind with worry over you and worrying that your mad at me. There’s no easy way to say this and no way around it so I will do what I do best and put it as bluntly as I can. I love you. Not as a friend, but as something more. I know, it’s not fair to put you in this position as you and Jonna got back together. At lest that’s what was going on last time I talked to you. I just needed to get it out. Does that make me selfish? All those times people joked about you being my boyfriend…I never denied it because I wanted it to be true. I love you so much and I must be going crazy because I thought, last time I saw you, I could see it in your eyes too.
Why do you make me feel this way? I can’t get you out of my head. Your image is forever burned into my memory. Your voice overwhelms me every time I listen to one of your songs. Although I can’t blame you. It’s me. Shouldn’t I be able to control this? I can’t though. I can’t control how I feel. You’ve got your special someone and I’m about to be married, but can’t you see? This isn’t how things are supposed to be. It’s supposed to be us. I don’t love her, I love you. Maybe I got that wrong. I do love her, but only as a good friend. You’re the one that has my hear Ville Valo. I’ve done a lot of thinking and I think I’m going to call off the wedding with Missy. It’s not fair to her to waste her life on someone who can’t give her his heart in return, but don’t, under any circumstances, blame yourself. I know you and I know you will, but don’t because this is my decision to call it off. I want us to be together so bad it hurts. Jonna isn’t the one for you. I know that’s selfish of me to say, but she doesn’t know you like I do. I don’t know what else to say. I hope you forgive me and I pray to God this doesn’t ruin what we have. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. If we can’t stay how we were after what I just told you, I understand. I hope to hear from you. I want to hear from you even if it is to tell me you hate me and never want to talk to me again. If that’s the truth then I’m truly sorry.
Always,
Bam
I put the pen down, tears streaming down my face. I don’t think I could handle it if he never wanted to talk to me again. I hold the letter in my hand, debating if I should send it. I finally decide to and seal it in an envelope. I needed to tell him. I just can’t keep pretending anymore. I head downstairs to grab my car keys to head to the post office when the phone rings.