[fic] Bloody Hormones

[morbid_musings]

Bloody Hormones

Summary: Falling in love is never easy business. For Harry it’s a dozen times worse. He’s fallen in love with someone he thought he hated. HPDM.

Spoilers: None, really. Maybe some minor hints. Still, it’s pretty much AU after “Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix”.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter.

Notes: I hate myself. This was

Comments

[leandralocke]

Okay, I've been trying to post a comment ALL day. Maybe it's to long... hm... *testing*

[leandralocke]

ah, ok, guess it was too long, chopping it to bits then *rolls eyes* stupid LJ.

Okay, since I'm already really enjoying this fic but spotted a few errors, I'm going to point them out...

Harry thought it was only a phase - one of those odd cruses
That should be crushes I guess

Tried to avoid the temptation of cornering the boy in some dark corner and kiss the living shit out of him. No error, but somehow I'd like "snog" better in this context, but that's just me, just an idea :)

[leandralocke]

Well, perhaps he was just a closet pervert.
I'm not really sure about this one (I'm German, so my English isn't perfect *g* ) but shouldn't it be closeted?

But still Harry relented and tried to go on with his life, certain that those dreams were nothing serious - one of those days his attraction would not disappear.
Somehow, the "not" in the last sentense makes no sense, or am I missing something? But I guess you accidentally left it in after changing the sentense or something.

“Fuckin’ hormones,” he whispered angrily one day,
Just an idea, but maybe you should stick to the title of the fic and let him say "Bloody hormones" instead.

[leandralocke]

And just to say something positive again ;) Up until that point the fic is really brilliant. Harry's thoughts about this whole thing are so hilarious and so typical of a teenager. Really well done...
And I hope Harry doesn't tell Ron WHAT exactly is going on, now, because then, I fear, Ron might faint or worse, lol.

ROFL to the part with Hagrid. ^^

So, it’s hardly noteworthy that Harry, through a series of unfortunate circumstances and his own wicked, uncontrollable temper , found himself in detention with Malfoy
Okay, just a wee error, but after temper there's a space before the comma that shouldn't be there ;)

[leandralocke]

“Are you retarded? Why should I be looking at you? You’re not that pretty, you stuck up narcissist!” Harry answered, a little too defensively.
ROFL! Very smart thing to say, Harry *shakes head and giggles*

When their hands came - accidentally - into contact, Harry started and gave off a stammer, but was not the worst.
Shouldn't it be "but that was not the worst"?

“You can’t deny the truth, Malfoy. You were blushing any your hands were trembling.”
and your hands...

[leandralocke]

And no, I’m not happy about because you’re the least person I ever imagined being attracted to. “
I'm not happy about it.
And OMG! He said it *g* I wonder what happens next...

I already thought that you were an egocentric prig back when we met at Madam Milkin’s
Prick

it dawned upon him that the boy was probably or even less experienced than him.
There's something missing. "was probably just as or even less experienced" or something like that.
And *squee* :D

[leandralocke]

“I will not be shut up, Harry. You can’t fucking tell me you like and not expect any consequences from it
you like me

“Nor will I bend to your morals unless I see it fit to do so. I won’t be one of your dumb fans and treat you like a champion either. And at the moment, I’m as confused as you are.
Final " missing

Awwwww... the ending was really cute. Like I said in between, I really enjoyed this fic. It was hilarious and cute and made me relive the first times I fell in love with somebody because the way Harry reacts and thinks is just sooo typical for a teenager. Really lovely story :)

Grrr, how annoying, really had to chop it down to tiny pieces because it wouldn't allow longer comments.

[morbid_musings]

Thanks for the lovely comments. Furthermore, thank you for pointing the errors out -- it was really helpful. In spite of proofreading and editing this, some things fail to grasp my attention. Therefore, I am really grateful that you pointed those errors out.

[leandralocke]

Don't mention it. Being a writer myself, I know that one can oversee the silliest little errors even when reading the piece over a couple of times.
Thanks for sharing this fic :) And I do hope you get a bit more feedback, as this story really deserves it. I will include it to my rec list when I update it again. (if you want to take a look at it, it's the second last entry in my LJ)