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[moraldyslexic]

It wasn't something Lennox did every day, it wasn't even something he did every week, but now and then he wandered away from the Hamlet and went to see Stephen at his hut. More often than not he ran into his friend on the beach or in the clinic or somewhere in the Compound, but sometimes when he didn't see him for a couple of days, Lennox would go

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[chris_cutter]

With the disappearance of the snow came the reappearance of work, something Chris was actually oddly grateful for. He'd spent the morning on the team, building a place not too far off from the Hamlet. But, it hadn't been quite like normal with Lennox not there, even though Chris knew Lennox was planning to spend the day catching up with Stephen and so lunch couldn't come too soon.

Making a short pit stop at the Hamlet before heading up to the Compound, Chris was surprised to find Lennox there. However, his immediate smile faded to concern when he saw the look on Lennox's face.

"Hey," he said, approaching more slowly as his hand brushed over Lennox's shoulder and looked down at the strange cat-like creature in Lennox's lap. "Who's this?"

[moraldyslexic]

Startled, Lennox looked up when he felt someone's hand and he was surprised to see Chris. Then he remembered that he was supposed to meet him up at the Compound for lunch, but that thought had completely fled his mind almost hours earlier and he shook his head, looking apologetic.

"I forgot about lunch, man, I..." But he didn't know what else to say. "This is Lucy," he managed finally. The genet had perked up at the sight and sound of Chris, her ears twitching back and forward again as she looked at him.

"She used to belong to Stephen. I named her," he continued, staring down at Hal as he spoke, still stroking the dog's ears. "I found her when I went to see him."

[chris_cutter]

Used to.

Chris didn't like the sound of that and his concerned frown deepened before he shifted to take a seat on the log beside Lennox. Hal whined cautiously then and turned her head, obviously wanting to greet Chris, but not willing to leave Lennox's side. Reaching his hand out, Chris pet Hal's back and moved closer, his eyes still on Lennox.

"Stephen give her to you or something?" Chris asked, a part of him hoping that was the case even as a sharp pang of jealousy threatened to rear up at it. It was better than the other reason, though, the one Chris could tell was real just by looking at Lennox, seeing the pained expression in his eyes.

[moraldyslexic]

"No," Lennox answered simply, watching as Lucy's ears twitched again and then she cautiously stepped out of Lennox's lap and into Chris's, sniffing him curiously. Stephen had told Lennox that when they were small, genet's developed bonds easily and so he hoped she'd like Chris.

"I went to his hut, but no one was there except Lucy," he explained, frowning a little as he looked down at his lap. "He's gone, Chris." He hated saying that and he hated that he'd said it so many times in his almost two years on the island.

[chris_cutter]

He tensed just a little as the cat-like thing started to walk into his lap, her tiny claws digging into the denim of his jeans and scratching his leg. She seemed gentle enough, though, and Chris lowered a hand to pet her back lightly as he looked over at Lennox again.

"Fuck," he breathed and then stopped petting Lucy to reach over, taking Lennox's hand. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

[moraldyslexic]

Lennox let Chris take his hand, their fingers threaded together and he shrugged, not because it wasn't a big deal, but because he didn't know what the hell to do with the knowledge that his friend was gone.

"It's as bad as Clarice, man," he finally said, trying to find some way to explain to Chris just how shitty this way. There were all sorts of people on the island he cared about, of course, but few had been as close to him as Stephen. "It'd be like Mike disappearing."

[chris_cutter]

Chris winced almost immediately at that and his grip on Lennox's hand tightened. He and Mike had had their problems over the past couple months and Chris still wasn't sure anything was resolved there yet, but the idea of losing Mike completely, of having him disappear... wasn't one he wanted to think about.

"I'm sorry," Chris managed after a moment, wishing he could shift closer, but he didn't want to disturb the little creature in his lap. She seemed to like him well enough. Instead, he leaned over as best he could, his lips brushing over Lennox's shoulder. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

[moraldyslexic]

"Me too," Lennox said softly as he watched Lucy curl up in Chris's lap, glad for that at the very least. He knew that the genet would take care of herself mostly, that was what Stephen had told him, but he still thought she'd probably stick around with him. Or maybe he just hoped.

"Dunno when it happened. I hadn't seen him in a couple of days," he admitted. "That's why I went to see him."

[chris_cutter]

Not knowing when it happened didn't make it any better and Chris gave another quiet sigh, upset on Lennox's behalf as he tried to pull him closer, his lips finding the side of Lennox's head.

"Keep thinking this shit'll eventually get easier," he murmured against Lennox's hair. "Would like to know when that might start."

[moraldyslexic]

"I don't think that'll ever happen," Lennox admitted after a moment, leaning into Chris, his eyes closing as he sighed quietly. This shit wasn't gonna get easier, it wouldn't ever get easier. For the most part, Lennox tried not to let it get to him, he tried to just take each day as it came and know he was lucky to have the friends he did.

But days like today it just hit him too fucking hard. He was lucky to have the friends he did, but they kept disappearing.

[chris_cutter]

Swallowing, Chris nodded, knowing with a sickening twist of his gut, that Lennox was right. It would never get easier. They could both stay here the rest of forever and watch everyone they love disappear and it would never get any fucking easier.

He took a slow breath and exhaled against Lennox's hair before nudging another kiss. "I can give his name to the Council," Chris said, quietly. "We'll put him on the wall, okay?"

[moraldyslexic]

"Okay," Lennox said quietly, taking a deep breath and trying to force himself to feel better. It wasn't going to be so easy, he knew that, but he wished he could just forget it and feel better and... something. He didn't know what.

"This fucking sucks, Chris, I don't know what the hell to do anymore," he admitted.

[chris_cutter]

"I don't either," Chris replied, his voice still quiet, trying his best to be soothing, though he didn't really have any idea how to do that. Maybe this kind of shit would never get easier, but he figured somewhere along the line, they'd start to figure out how to deal with it.

For the time being, though, it just hurt. And, he could only imagine how Lennox felt right then.

Hal gave a quick, soft bark and nudged at Lennox's hand before whining softly, obviously aware that something was wrong.

[moraldyslexic]

"She won't even go to play or pee or nothing," Lennox said with a laugh as he looked down at Hal, reaching out to pet her ears. The laugh was strained and sounded forced, but it was there. And that was something, although, to be honest, he wasn't sure what.

[chris_cutter]

"She's worried about you," Chris replied needlessly, eyes focused on Hal who whined again softly, her nose pushing into Lennox's hand.

The cat creature on Chris's lap stirred, her tiny, sharp nails digging into Chris's thigh and he gave a strained sound of discomfort before letting out his own, soft and slightly forced laugh. "Jesus, we need to clip her nails or something. Painful."

[moraldyslexic]

"She uses them to climb and hunt and stuff, that might not be a good idea," Lennox said with a soft laugh. He didn't know much about genets, just what Stephen had told him, but he remembered that much. "I'll have to find a book on 'em or something. Stephen told me a bit, but..."

Lennox trailed off at that and shrugged sadly, frowning a little. "I just always figured there'd be more time for him to keep telling me stuff."