It Started With A Kiss. (RPS JB/GDL)
A man sits at a desk, to his side stands a younger man. They're talking about things, people who live out of their time, how hard it must be for them to live knowing they don't belonging. The younger man seeing the honesty in the eyes of his companion that he's wanted for so long walks over to him and pulls him into a kiss,
"And cut" The director calls out. "That was a great morning, thank you everyone. John, Gareth you nailed it that last time." he adds.
Everyone begins to disperse, the lunch trailer beckoning them, soon just the two actors are left.
“You were getting so twitchy, when they didn’t call cut. Gaza you’re face was a picture.” John says as he stands up from the desk
“Oh it was hilarious.” Gareth answers sarcastically.
John laughs, his face breaking into a huge grin,
"That was a good morning." He says
"If you say so." Gareth answers as he begins to walk away.
As he walks out of the set and over to his trailer he’s brooding, sullen. He removes his jacket, he pulls off his tie and unbuttons three of his shirt buttons, desperately trying to leave Ianto Jones behind if only for an hour or so. He’s had the morning from Hell. He’s never had a problem kissing his co-stars before, he’s always been totally comfortable with it until now. And it’s not the fact the co-star he’s kissing is male cos he’s dabbled in his time, he’s more than happy kissing a guy, the only problem he’s got is that when the director calls cut he doesn’t want to stop kissing this guy. As he sits down on the small sofa he sighs. He can’t explain where these feelings have come from or why they don’t seem to want to disappear. It just happened. One day he just realised what was happening and found that he couldn’t stop it. And he knows that this can’t carry on, that these feelings need to stop but he can’t get rid of them, lord knows he’s tried.
“Come in.” He says.
The door opens and John walks in. He moves over to the sofa where Gareth is sat and sits in the empty seat next to him.
“Gaz, Are you okay?” he asks Gareth.
Gareth stands up, he doesn’t mind being close to him on set, on set it’s Ianto Jones declaring his love for Captain Jack, but here, here it’s just Gareth falling for someone he shouldn’t be. These days he avoids these situations, being alone with John for any length of time hurts him more than he wants to admit, even to himself.
“I’m fine.” He says as he walks over to his small fridge. He opens it and takes out a bottle of water from the shelf. He avoids John’s eyes but he can still feel John’s eyes watching him.
“Gaza, come on, you’ve not been yourself all morning and you’ve been avoiding me for weeks. Is everything ok?” John replied.
“I’m fine, really there’s nothing wrong.” Gareth answers snapping at John slightly.
“Yeah sounds like it.” John comments looking over at Gareth one eyebrow raised, “You know I’m here if you ever need to talk.” he adds as he stands up.
“You’re the damn problem.” Gareth says his voice raised, slamming down the bottle onto the table by his side.
The words are out before he has chance to think about what he’s saying. He stands, silent, a million things going through his head, waiting for John’s response.
“I’m the problem? Anything you want to talk to me about?” John asks.
Gareth looks over at John, their eyes meet and then Gareth diverts his again. There are so many thing he would love to say, that’s he’s been hiding but he knows he can’t admit how he feels. He’s got his girlfriend, John’s got Scott, he doesn’t want to damage what they both have but still there’s a part of him that just wants to forget the real world and let his feelings run away with him.
“Not really.” Gareth answers after a moment.
“You know if I have a problem with someone, I tend to try and talk to the person about it, it really does work.” John says defensively.
“This isn‘t exactly something I want to talk about.” Gareth answers with the same defensive tone.
“Okay then. Is it something I’ve done.” John asks.
“Not exactly.” Gareth answers, nervous as to where this guessing game is going.
“Something I’ve said?” John replies.
“Nope.” Gareth answers.
“Come on, Gaz, give me a break. Talk to me.” John says his temper getting shorter.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Gareth answers getting increasingly frustrated.
“Might help.” John comments, his voice softer, trying to calm both himself.
“I’ll tell you what would help. You getting out of my face. And out of my head.” Gareth says, once again the words escape before he can stop himself.
“Out of your head?” John questions.
Gareth walks back over to the sofa and sits down burying his head in his hands.
“This is such a mess.” He says as he lifts his head.
“Come on Gareth, tell me what’s wrong.” John says coaxing him gently.
“You being here, me being here, you being you, charming, funny, handsome, me falling hook line and sinker for you.” Gareth says his eyes raising to meet John’s fully for the first time in the conversation.
John smiles at him, as he once again sits down next to him. Gareth looks at him waiting for a response, already he’s regretting what he’s just said, knows that nothing good can come of this, in the silence that fills the room Gareth waits. John smiles again as he stretches out his hand and places it gently on Gareth’s leg. Gareth looks at him, confused about what John’s action means and then in a blink of an eyes their lips meet. And he knows it’s wrong, knows that there are people that could get hurt but as his hands run through John’s hair and their tongues begin exploring each other mouths in a desperate yet gentle way he doesn’t care about the pain that he could cause, all that matters to him is the here and now, John and him in his trailer. Gareth’s hand falls from John’s hands and around to his neck, pulling him closer, holding his nearer to him. Their kiss is broken when there’s a knock at the trailer door.
“Gaz, is Ginnie with you?” The familiar voice of a co-star asks.
They break apart suddenly, John runs his hands through his hair quickly, they smile at each other, both of them glad that for once the door was knocked.
“Yeah we’re both in here.” Gareth answers.
The door opens and John speaks,
“Evie, what can we do for you?” He asks.
“Well I was just seeing if you were ok. You weren’t in the lunch trailer and I was wondering what on earth could be more important than food.” she answers.
“We we’re just talking over things, it was an intense morning.” John answers “But you’re right, I’m sure some food would help.” he adds.
“Come on then. I’m starving.” Gareth says looking over at John.
“Me too.” he answers as he smiles at Gareth.
They both stand and walk to the door, side by side, John leans over to Gareth and whispers,
“Until next time.” he says
Gareth smiles, full of longing for the next time to arrive soon. He grabs the jacket he hung by the door, redoes his buttons, puts on the jacket and reaches into the inside pocket to grab his tie. Putting it on Ianto Jones appears once more but for the first time in a while, Gareth doesn’t mind.