The Torture of Hurin
"...and taking Hurin from prison he set him in a chair of stone upon a high place of Thangorodrim. There he was bound by the power of Morgoth, and Morgoth standing beside him cursed him again; and he said: 'Sit now there; and look out upon the lands where evil and despair shall come upon those whom thou lovest. Thou hast dared to mock me, and to question the power of Melkor, Master of the fates of Arda. Therefore with my eyes thou shalt see, and with my ears thou shalt hear; and never shoult thou move from this place until all is fulfilled unto its bitter end.'
And even so it came to pass; but it is not said that Hurin asked ever of Morgoth either mercy or death, for himself or for any of his kin." -- The Silmarillion (second edition), J.R.R. Tolkein (edited by Christopher Tolkein)
Such a dreadful fate. To sit there, upon the highest point of Angband, the fortress of the enemy, eternally paralyzed and watching as those you love are not only stricken down but tortured... and yet never once did he coil away and ask for the easy way out. No, Hurin persevered, he pushed ever onward. What could possibly of kept him holding on so long? Hope is the easy answer but after so long even hope fades... then.. then what is left?
I sure as hell wish I knew.
I'm in this like.. rut? I'd guess you can call it that. I don't know, I really don't. I think that's what bothers me most.
It's not a "what do I want" question, because that question is overly simplistic. It's not who either, cause I know that too. So does she.
But does it matter? Will it matter? That's my question. Could it even work? We COULD make it work... but is she willing? Does SHE want to? I'm not even that worked up it's just.. questions I wish I knew the answer to but I'm in limbo.
Ugh and I've been doing work like crazy. No one really showed up for my CTF game until Laura and the council came to the rescue (except those few devoted guys on my floor, who absolutely MADE my night by showing up). I had planned on a big crowd and got a .. not so big crowd. We still managed a couple kickass games and that was that.
Laura, my SRA, saw a moose and got it for me! Maddie La Moose is his name and he is an amazing new addition to my ongrowing collection of Moose, some of whom may be making an appearence in my room soon. A couple of the RAs thought doing nothing was more important... which really makes me feel good about my fellow RA's, let me tell you. Thanks, I'll remember that.
Dropped Philosophy so, amen, that will be nice. Grades are good... personal life has recently saw a very significant spark from the ashes.. so here's to hoping... RA is going well, except for the jackass that took down my bulletin board..
I got a new Zip card because my old one was falling apart, but now it won't work so I have to use Jasons until I get mine fixed tommorow.
I take my solice honestly in my projects - in my job. It's the only thing where I've really felt secure.. warm.. comfortable if you will.
Projects :
1) Church for Initiation - Chaplain duties all the way..
2) My room - making it what I want
3) Duty - thank God I have it tonight, I might of just passed out and been unable to sleep - or out like a rock, but there'd of been no halfway point
I guess I'm just disappointed in myself most of all. I've just made some mistakes. After a long drought you almost forget what it's like to jump in the ocean.
Get your feet wet and you're hooked to it's mysterious allure once more.
Don't get me wrong. I love my life. Honestly, it's amazing. Each day something new. I love it. I love it, love it, love it.
I just get SO focused on one thing...
Oh man, crazy second round. A little bit of action REALLY gets the adrenaline flowin!
Not in the same state of mind so I can't really finish this entry... but I look very much forward to what this weekend may bring :)
And even so it came to pass; but it is not said that Hurin asked ever of Morgoth either mercy or death, for himself or for any of his kin." -- The Silmarillion (second edition), J.R.R. Tolkein (edited by Christopher Tolkein)
Such a dreadful fate. To sit there, upon the highest point of Angband, the fortress of the enemy, eternally paralyzed and watching as those you love are not only stricken down but tortured... and yet never once did he coil away and ask for the easy way out. No, Hurin persevered, he pushed ever onward. What could possibly of kept him holding on so long? Hope is the easy answer but after so long even hope fades... then.. then what is left?
I sure as hell wish I knew.
I'm in this like.. rut? I'd guess you can call it that. I don't know, I really don't. I think that's what bothers me most.
It's not a "what do I want" question, because that question is overly simplistic. It's not who either, cause I know that too. So does she.
But does it matter? Will it matter? That's my question. Could it even work? We COULD make it work... but is she willing? Does SHE want to? I'm not even that worked up it's just.. questions I wish I knew the answer to but I'm in limbo.
Ugh and I've been doing work like crazy. No one really showed up for my CTF game until Laura and the council came to the rescue (except those few devoted guys on my floor, who absolutely MADE my night by showing up). I had planned on a big crowd and got a .. not so big crowd. We still managed a couple kickass games and that was that.
Laura, my SRA, saw a moose and got it for me! Maddie La Moose is his name and he is an amazing new addition to my ongrowing collection of Moose, some of whom may be making an appearence in my room soon. A couple of the RAs thought doing nothing was more important... which really makes me feel good about my fellow RA's, let me tell you. Thanks, I'll remember that.
Dropped Philosophy so, amen, that will be nice. Grades are good... personal life has recently saw a very significant spark from the ashes.. so here's to hoping... RA is going well, except for the jackass that took down my bulletin board..
I got a new Zip card because my old one was falling apart, but now it won't work so I have to use Jasons until I get mine fixed tommorow.
I take my solice honestly in my projects - in my job. It's the only thing where I've really felt secure.. warm.. comfortable if you will.
Projects :
1) Church for Initiation - Chaplain duties all the way..
2) My room - making it what I want
3) Duty - thank God I have it tonight, I might of just passed out and been unable to sleep - or out like a rock, but there'd of been no halfway point
I guess I'm just disappointed in myself most of all. I've just made some mistakes. After a long drought you almost forget what it's like to jump in the ocean.
Get your feet wet and you're hooked to it's mysterious allure once more.
Don't get me wrong. I love my life. Honestly, it's amazing. Each day something new. I love it. I love it, love it, love it.
I just get SO focused on one thing...
Oh man, crazy second round. A little bit of action REALLY gets the adrenaline flowin!
Not in the same state of mind so I can't really finish this entry... but I look very much forward to what this weekend may bring :)