Gacked from Darthbird
Dear
musakura,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in your closet and I saw you hit on my avocado plant. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your old lottery coupons to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of the cocaine abuse.
Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
moosefluff
Dear (the last person who left a comment on your LJ).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-
1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - our horoscope doesn't match
Red - our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - our romance is over
Grey - you're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - your nostrils are insulting
Brown - the mafia wants you
No shirt - you're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister
2. Which is your birth month?
January - that night
February - last year
March - when your dwarf bit me
April - when I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - when you put cuffs on me
July - when I threw up
August - when I saw the shrunken head
September - when we skinny dipped
October - when I quoted Santa
November - when your dog ran amok
December - when I changed tennis shoes
3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - in your apartment
Pizza - in your camping car
Pasta - outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - under the bus
Salad - as you ate enchilada
Chicken - in your closet
Kebab - with Paris Hilton
Fish - in women's clothing
Sandwiches - at the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - at the mental hospital
Hot dog - under a state of trance
Other - with George Bush and his wife
4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - hit on
Red - insult
Black - ignore
Blue - knock out
Purple - pour syrup on
White - carve your initials into
Grey - pull the clothes off
Brown - put leeches on
Orange - castrate
Pink - pull the toupee off
Barefoot - sit at
Other - drive out
5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - my best friend
White - my father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - my fart balloon
Purple - my mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - my avocado plant
Yellow - my penpal in Ghana
Orange - my Kid Rock-collection
Pink - manchester United's goalkeeper
None - my John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - the crazy monk
6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - man
O.C. - emotional
One Tree Hill - open
Heroes - frostbitten
Lost - high
House - scarred
Simpsons - cowardly
The news - mongolic
Idol - masochistic
Family Guy - senile
Top Model - middle-class
Other - ashamed
7. Your mood right now?
Happy - how awful I've felt
Sad - how boring you are
Bored - that Santa doesn't exist
Angry - that your pimples are at the last stage
Tired - That we're cousins
Excited - that there is no solution to this.
Nervous - the middle-east
Worried - that your Honda sucks
Apathetic - that I did a sex-change
Ashamed - that I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - that I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - that I'm open
Other - that Extreme Home Makeover sucks
8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - your ring
Yellow - your love letters
Red - your Darth Vader-poster
Black - your tame stone
Blue - the couch cushions
Green - the pictures from LA
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - your contact book
Grey - our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - your old lottery coupons
Pink - the cut toenails
Other - your memories from the military service
9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - your photo
C/D - the oil stocks
E/F - your neighbour Martin
G/H - my virginity
I/J - the results of your blood-sample
K/L - your left ear
M/N - your suicide note
O/P - my common sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - your collection of butterflies
U/V - your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - your grades from college
10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - always will remember
C/D - never will forget
E/F - always wanted to break
G/H - never openly mocked
I/J - always have felt dirty before
K/L - will tell the authorities about
M/N - told in my confession today about
O/P - was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - told my psychiatrist about
S/T - get sick when I think of
U/V - always will try to forget
W/X - am better off without
Y/Z - never liked
11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- our friendship
Beer - senility
Soft drink - a new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - the apartment building
Wine - cocaine abuse
Cider - a passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - to ruin the second world war
Other - to hate the Boston Celtics
12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - F*** off now
France - In pain