Cagebird.
He probably thought I would always be in love with him. I guess I can't blame him because I always thought that as well.
Being away, pushing thoughts of him away, he was away... from my mind, from my heart, from my life.
I have been convinced for the past several years that I would marry James. I was convinced during my last years of high school that he was the perfect man for me. The man of my dreams, in fact. I was convinced that "God planned him to be with me." Then I got to college and I changed drastically. James and I seemed to be in two different worlds, viewing things in completely opposite ways, but a piece of me still held on to the idea that someday, when it was the right time, we would be together.
I saw on facebook two nights ago that he proposed to his girlfriend of two years. I didn't know what to think, or say, or how to feel. I was simply in shock. I once again pushed away any and all thoughts of him.
Tonight, he decided to facebook IM me with three words; one finalized statement: "I'm getting married."
Tell me, what is the correct response when the man you have visualized your future with on several occasions tells you he is engaged to someone else?
What bothers me most is that he felt it necessary to singularly tell me. I haven't talked to him in about two months and out of nowhere, he IMs me with that bomb. No "hi," no "how are you?" just dropped an atomic bomb on my world and annhilated everything in sight.
He probably thought I would always be in love with him. I guess I can't blame him because I always thought that as well. A piece of me is left wondering if I still am in love with him.
That three-word, final statement dug the knife deeper into what small, deformed piece of my heart is left and twisted it a few times to ensure that colossal damage was done.
Being away, pushing thoughts of him away, he was away... from my mind, from my heart, from my life.
I have been convinced for the past several years that I would marry James. I was convinced during my last years of high school that he was the perfect man for me. The man of my dreams, in fact. I was convinced that "God planned him to be with me." Then I got to college and I changed drastically. James and I seemed to be in two different worlds, viewing things in completely opposite ways, but a piece of me still held on to the idea that someday, when it was the right time, we would be together.
I saw on facebook two nights ago that he proposed to his girlfriend of two years. I didn't know what to think, or say, or how to feel. I was simply in shock. I once again pushed away any and all thoughts of him.
Tonight, he decided to facebook IM me with three words; one finalized statement: "I'm getting married."
Tell me, what is the correct response when the man you have visualized your future with on several occasions tells you he is engaged to someone else?
What bothers me most is that he felt it necessary to singularly tell me. I haven't talked to him in about two months and out of nowhere, he IMs me with that bomb. No "hi," no "how are you?" just dropped an atomic bomb on my world and annhilated everything in sight.
He probably thought I would always be in love with him. I guess I can't blame him because I always thought that as well. A piece of me is left wondering if I still am in love with him.
That three-word, final statement dug the knife deeper into what small, deformed piece of my heart is left and twisted it a few times to ensure that colossal damage was done.