Haunted
I am being haunted by dreams of my deceased friends. For a while, I was only having dreams about Eric. Last night, I had my first dream about Nick. It was a scary, emotional dream. One that I couldn't help, but wake up affected by. I've been fighting back tears just thinking about it.
In the dream, I found out that Nick was sick with HIV and dying. As soon as I heard the news, I went right over to his house. I curled up in bed with him and held him. We cried together. He cried because he was scared. I cried because I didn't want to lose him. We laid like that for several days as the disease took over him.
Eventually, doctors came in and suggested that we do a "mock funeral" so that people could see Nick in an open casket before the disease made his body frail. Nick and his family agreed to this. He made me promise to be there for him every step of the way and of course, I agreed.
At the mock funeral, I freaked out. I couldn't handle it. I broke down and cried. I was a mess. I collapsed. Everyone was there dressed in black, mourning. I had to face Nick's death before I was ready to (which mirrors the reality of what happened).
When the hearse arrived and the coffin was pulled out, I couldn't do it. I couldn't be there for him. I turned my back and collapsed again into a sobbing pile of myself. After the mock funeral, Nick continued to lay in his coffin as his mourners slowly faded out and disappeared. I was the last to leave. I finally mustered up enough courage to make my way over to the coffin. When I did, Nick opened his eyes and smiled at me. My eyes blurred with tears as he reached for my hand. "Come lay beside me," he said. "I can't," I responded, "you know I can't... you know I'm terrified of all of this." Then the look in his eyes pleaded with me. I got in the coffin beside him and we cried together.
Then he died.
In the dream, I found out that Nick was sick with HIV and dying. As soon as I heard the news, I went right over to his house. I curled up in bed with him and held him. We cried together. He cried because he was scared. I cried because I didn't want to lose him. We laid like that for several days as the disease took over him.
Eventually, doctors came in and suggested that we do a "mock funeral" so that people could see Nick in an open casket before the disease made his body frail. Nick and his family agreed to this. He made me promise to be there for him every step of the way and of course, I agreed.
At the mock funeral, I freaked out. I couldn't handle it. I broke down and cried. I was a mess. I collapsed. Everyone was there dressed in black, mourning. I had to face Nick's death before I was ready to (which mirrors the reality of what happened).
When the hearse arrived and the coffin was pulled out, I couldn't do it. I couldn't be there for him. I turned my back and collapsed again into a sobbing pile of myself. After the mock funeral, Nick continued to lay in his coffin as his mourners slowly faded out and disappeared. I was the last to leave. I finally mustered up enough courage to make my way over to the coffin. When I did, Nick opened his eyes and smiled at me. My eyes blurred with tears as he reached for my hand. "Come lay beside me," he said. "I can't," I responded, "you know I can't... you know I'm terrified of all of this." Then the look in his eyes pleaded with me. I got in the coffin beside him and we cried together.
Then he died.