wow....clutter....
This is always a place where I can come and pour my thoughts out, and look back on it for personal reflection. I look at how everyone deletes their journals and makes them friends only because of stupid reasons like people saying shit. Personally, I dont really give a flying fuck what anyone thinks, I put this thing out there for my own reasons, if you want you can read and maybe my experiences will help you out in someway, other than that, I feel pretty sorry for you if you take time enough to write stupid shit and or comment on/in anyones journal.
Tonight was weird, I saw a good friend get a beer bottle smashed over his head over something as small as a red bull can being thrown in the wrong place, and it didnt even hit that fucker. How fucking stupid is that, is a redbull can worth 20 some stiches or am I in the wrong here. Why cant people just stop and think, and why him, I deserve 20 some stiches to the face more than he ever did. I want this to be something I remeber for a while to come, so im putting it in here. Its a fucking scary feeling when you see things unfolding in front of your eyes but you cant absolutely do anything to stop them, I never want to feel like that again. The afterwards barfight was a different story, I would usually say that I hope those fuckers rot in hell, but thats a waste of time and energy, my beleif in god and karma gives me peace of mind.
Other than that, mentally im at kind of a hard time in my life. I dont know what to do about a lot of things, nor do I know how to start about them. I dont understand why I cant do better in school, why I cant get better grades. This in turn gets me stressed, gets me thinking about the way my parents slave their assess off so they could help pay for my tuition. Sometimes, during like a Friday and Sat. night, I stop and thing why Im not at home studying or doing extra work, or sometimes when I playing poker I stop and ask myself why I am wasting my time. But then I realize if I didnt have any release I would go absolutely insane....and offwhack. I dont understand why my sister doesnt listen to me, and why I fail at things that I try so hard to work on w/ her. I look at all my boys and how their sisters treat them, and mine just disrespects me, and I work and try so hard to be the best brother I can. I do things for her that other brothers would'nt think of, but when I ask her to listen to me and to respect what I tell her, I get shit on. I partially blame myself for not paying attention to her during her developing years in middle school, when I saw her changing into what she was going to soon become, I ignored it because I was too preoccupied w/ what was going on in my life.
I've sat here and tried to think about what I could write about girls, but every thought ends w/ something stupid going on. So....Im not gonna waste my time, quite frankly, Im not the kind of guy that preoccupies myself w/ girl problems, I got better things to do.
Anyways, Im out.....peace.
Tonight was weird, I saw a good friend get a beer bottle smashed over his head over something as small as a red bull can being thrown in the wrong place, and it didnt even hit that fucker. How fucking stupid is that, is a redbull can worth 20 some stiches or am I in the wrong here. Why cant people just stop and think, and why him, I deserve 20 some stiches to the face more than he ever did. I want this to be something I remeber for a while to come, so im putting it in here. Its a fucking scary feeling when you see things unfolding in front of your eyes but you cant absolutely do anything to stop them, I never want to feel like that again. The afterwards barfight was a different story, I would usually say that I hope those fuckers rot in hell, but thats a waste of time and energy, my beleif in god and karma gives me peace of mind.
Other than that, mentally im at kind of a hard time in my life. I dont know what to do about a lot of things, nor do I know how to start about them. I dont understand why I cant do better in school, why I cant get better grades. This in turn gets me stressed, gets me thinking about the way my parents slave their assess off so they could help pay for my tuition. Sometimes, during like a Friday and Sat. night, I stop and thing why Im not at home studying or doing extra work, or sometimes when I playing poker I stop and ask myself why I am wasting my time. But then I realize if I didnt have any release I would go absolutely insane....and offwhack. I dont understand why my sister doesnt listen to me, and why I fail at things that I try so hard to work on w/ her. I look at all my boys and how their sisters treat them, and mine just disrespects me, and I work and try so hard to be the best brother I can. I do things for her that other brothers would'nt think of, but when I ask her to listen to me and to respect what I tell her, I get shit on. I partially blame myself for not paying attention to her during her developing years in middle school, when I saw her changing into what she was going to soon become, I ignored it because I was too preoccupied w/ what was going on in my life.
I've sat here and tried to think about what I could write about girls, but every thought ends w/ something stupid going on. So....Im not gonna waste my time, quite frankly, Im not the kind of guy that preoccupies myself w/ girl problems, I got better things to do.
Anyways, Im out.....peace.