A Fish Story...
This is Oscar. That's the type of fish it is and it's name. My husband doesn't name animals that don't respond so I call the fish Oscar. Oscar is about a foot long and probably weighs a pound or 2.
This is Sandy who is harmless but puts anything in her mouth that is smaller than her head.
This is Oscar's tank in relation to our couch. This is where I fell asleep last night because maybe, just maybe, last night would be the night that I could stay awake for an entire episode of "The Daily Show". It was not. Sandy was sleeping in between the couch and the coffee table.
This is the top of the fish tank. Once upon a time it covered the whole opening. This will be important in a moment.
At approximately 2:34am Oscar decides it is time to break free from this mortal coil or, at least, it's tank. Oscar tries to do this on occasion and it is loud! Well earlier this fine morning Oscar succeeded. The splash and knocking around was so loud that I was jolted from a dead sleep and standing in time to see Oscar hit the ground. Amazingly in my rapid ascent from unconsciousness I had the sense to grab Sandy's collar who is also now awake and thinks it's time for sushi. Sandy and I are watching Oscar flop around and I weakly call for my husband who I know is still home because I see his work boots, but I have no idea what time it is yet. Oscar briefly stops flopping only to make another big jump. I grab the fish net and scoop Oscar off the floor while holding a hungry labrador back with my other hand. I deposit Oscar back in the tank. By some miracle Oscar is still alive. See the lid? That fish had to have some pretty lucky aim. I look at the time and curse the beasts I live with. All of this happened in the place of about two minutes. I cleaned up the water and went upstairs to bed, hoping I wouldn't wake up to another attempted fish suicide. This is my life.:|