SARA SILVERMAN QOUTES...Hillarious
FRICKEN HILAROUIS SARA SILVERMAN QOUTES
- I tell my neice that every time she losses at tage, an angel gets AIDS...She wins a lot more now.
- So i was sucking Jello off my boyfriends dick and i thought to myself, OMG I'm turning into my mother!
-So many people think the jews killed jesus, and others blame it on the Romans...I am one of the few people who actualy believes it was the blacks who killed jesus Christ..Oh gosh, as long as I'm white!
_If I'm racist, then why would I have dated a mexican...yah, he was filthy....I guess I feel bad saying that. yesterday I said this joke and a very irrate spanis hwoman came up to me and said "I'm MEXICAN and I don't smell" and my heart just sank, I didn't know what to do- I had to tell her "no silly, it's just that you can't smell yourselve."
- I was raped by a doctor...Which is so bittersweet for a jewish girl
- The only was religeon is an issue is if your going to have kids...And it wont be a big problem when that happens to me...I'll just be honost...Well mommy is just one of the chosen people, and daddy believes JESUS is magic. He is...I mean he turned wine into water...and made the statue of liberty disapear in the 80s....
-I'm on the Birth Control pill because I do a lot of fucking! And i really don't like it, so i asked a friend what she did to prevent from havinga child...She said that her husband just comes all over her face-- yah were gonna do that...but ya know I'm thirty..>i should have a baby soon....If i have one later it could be dangerous or harmful- Ofcourse the best time to have a baby is when your a black teenager.
- (To a bunch of old people) its not cold in here, youre just dying.
- Guess What Martin Luther King, I had a dream to...yah and it had a shark that had braces....So maybe your fucking dream isnt so fucking special!! MARTIn LOOSER KING!...No one ever mentions the bad things about him...Yah know, like he was a litter bug...I just thought the people should know everything....
- You have to be able to laugh at yourself...thats what I tell Asians all the ti me.
- I was really drunk last night with my friend Mike...So i dared him 10 dollars to dip his balls into a glass of water- AND he wouldnt do it. 10 dollars for like a minute....And i just think its funny, b/c we know why he didnt want to do it...Because he was worried if his balls float, we would know his balls are a witch...
- I dont want peopel to look at me and label me as gay or straight or dumb or stupid...I just want people to see me as ME, you know as white....
-You see I'm a loud to say that cause i dated a hald black man before...he was so sensative. really low self asteem, I know I would give him compliments all the time, but they would always hurt him, cuase his self asteem was so low...Like one day I said "You would have been a really expensive slave" and bam he broke up with me.
- I tell my neice that every time she losses at tage, an angel gets AIDS...She wins a lot more now.
- So i was sucking Jello off my boyfriends dick and i thought to myself, OMG I'm turning into my mother!
-So many people think the jews killed jesus, and others blame it on the Romans...I am one of the few people who actualy believes it was the blacks who killed jesus Christ..Oh gosh, as long as I'm white!
_If I'm racist, then why would I have dated a mexican...yah, he was filthy....I guess I feel bad saying that. yesterday I said this joke and a very irrate spanis hwoman came up to me and said "I'm MEXICAN and I don't smell" and my heart just sank, I didn't know what to do- I had to tell her "no silly, it's just that you can't smell yourselve."
- I was raped by a doctor...Which is so bittersweet for a jewish girl
- The only was religeon is an issue is if your going to have kids...And it wont be a big problem when that happens to me...I'll just be honost...Well mommy is just one of the chosen people, and daddy believes JESUS is magic. He is...I mean he turned wine into water...and made the statue of liberty disapear in the 80s....
-I'm on the Birth Control pill because I do a lot of fucking! And i really don't like it, so i asked a friend what she did to prevent from havinga child...She said that her husband just comes all over her face-- yah were gonna do that...but ya know I'm thirty..>i should have a baby soon....If i have one later it could be dangerous or harmful- Ofcourse the best time to have a baby is when your a black teenager.
- (To a bunch of old people) its not cold in here, youre just dying.
- Guess What Martin Luther King, I had a dream to...yah and it had a shark that had braces....So maybe your fucking dream isnt so fucking special!! MARTIn LOOSER KING!...No one ever mentions the bad things about him...Yah know, like he was a litter bug...I just thought the people should know everything....
- You have to be able to laugh at yourself...thats what I tell Asians all the ti me.
- I was really drunk last night with my friend Mike...So i dared him 10 dollars to dip his balls into a glass of water- AND he wouldnt do it. 10 dollars for like a minute....And i just think its funny, b/c we know why he didnt want to do it...Because he was worried if his balls float, we would know his balls are a witch...
- I dont want peopel to look at me and label me as gay or straight or dumb or stupid...I just want people to see me as ME, you know as white....
-You see I'm a loud to say that cause i dated a hald black man before...he was so sensative. really low self asteem, I know I would give him compliments all the time, but they would always hurt him, cuase his self asteem was so low...Like one day I said "You would have been a really expensive slave" and bam he broke up with me.