Heart....?
Tayler's random thoughts:
Ha, this kid wrote the same program I did, but his program code was a lot shorter than mine. He showed me how I made things a lot more complicated than they had to be. It was cool though because once I saw that I made the wrong choice on how to write my program, I knew that I could simply make the right choice and go with that. I felt weird about erasing my wrong stuff, so I just put it in comment tags, which was where I could still read that stuff but it wouldn't affect my program, and started writing the correct stuff. I was happier with the end result. My first version of the program didn't even start, and I didn't know what was wrong with it, only that there was something wrong. The second one, on the other hand, not only ran, but ran just the way I thought my first one would run. I'm just glad I didn't think that I had to stick with my original choice because it was my original choice, even though I knew it wasn't the best choice.
Thanksgiving is gonna be dull. I have to work on Friday and Saturday at Pac Sun. I don't think I'm going to be good at it at all. I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, and there's a lot of stuff that I don't know that I think I should. It's hard. Oh well, I guess I just have to get better. Simple as that, right? I'll just work as hard as it takes to get a firm foothold. I'll do whatever it takes.
Bryce is gonna hang out with me Friday though, and that'll be good. I haven't seen him in forever. I wonder if he's all big now that he's been trainin and shit like that. Hm....
I benched 1 set of 10 and 2 sets of 8 with 185. I'm getting back up there. I wonder where I'll be by Christmas. Hopefully higher up. I feel so much better when I work out. I can't let father beat me. That would be bad.
Eminem's Mockingbird makes me so sad, but I love it. It's just so... real.
Am I weird for not wanting to go out into the world?? Emily's journal talked about how glad she was to be going way her senior year, and that freaks me out. I am soooo glad that I'm here for my senior year. Maybe she just hasn't found what she's looking for.... I know I have. Maybe that's why I don't want to go anywhere; I'm content with where I am. Or maybe I have no ambition.... I don't know. A part of me feels bad for not wanting to go off. Another part of me feels bad for feeling bad for not wanting to go off. All of me feels bad for not being able to have a real friendship with Emily. I know I don't deserve it, but I hope we can eventually work it out. Maybe if we actually had one conversation with me where she actually was completely honest with me and didn't run out or hang up, then we could get past this shit. I need to. I can't just drop it as she seems to want to. I need to get this resolved. We were too happy when we were tight to fuck it up now over something as stupid as this.
Ha, this kid wrote the same program I did, but his program code was a lot shorter than mine. He showed me how I made things a lot more complicated than they had to be. It was cool though because once I saw that I made the wrong choice on how to write my program, I knew that I could simply make the right choice and go with that. I felt weird about erasing my wrong stuff, so I just put it in comment tags, which was where I could still read that stuff but it wouldn't affect my program, and started writing the correct stuff. I was happier with the end result. My first version of the program didn't even start, and I didn't know what was wrong with it, only that there was something wrong. The second one, on the other hand, not only ran, but ran just the way I thought my first one would run. I'm just glad I didn't think that I had to stick with my original choice because it was my original choice, even though I knew it wasn't the best choice.
Thanksgiving is gonna be dull. I have to work on Friday and Saturday at Pac Sun. I don't think I'm going to be good at it at all. I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, and there's a lot of stuff that I don't know that I think I should. It's hard. Oh well, I guess I just have to get better. Simple as that, right? I'll just work as hard as it takes to get a firm foothold. I'll do whatever it takes.
Bryce is gonna hang out with me Friday though, and that'll be good. I haven't seen him in forever. I wonder if he's all big now that he's been trainin and shit like that. Hm....
I benched 1 set of 10 and 2 sets of 8 with 185. I'm getting back up there. I wonder where I'll be by Christmas. Hopefully higher up. I feel so much better when I work out. I can't let father beat me. That would be bad.
Eminem's Mockingbird makes me so sad, but I love it. It's just so... real.
Am I weird for not wanting to go out into the world?? Emily's journal talked about how glad she was to be going way her senior year, and that freaks me out. I am soooo glad that I'm here for my senior year. Maybe she just hasn't found what she's looking for.... I know I have. Maybe that's why I don't want to go anywhere; I'm content with where I am. Or maybe I have no ambition.... I don't know. A part of me feels bad for not wanting to go off. Another part of me feels bad for feeling bad for not wanting to go off. All of me feels bad for not being able to have a real friendship with Emily. I know I don't deserve it, but I hope we can eventually work it out. Maybe if we actually had one conversation with me where she actually was completely honest with me and didn't run out or hang up, then we could get past this shit. I need to. I can't just drop it as she seems to want to. I need to get this resolved. We were too happy when we were tight to fuck it up now over something as stupid as this.