Found...?
I think I'm doing good, or at least better than I have been. I'm trying my best, and I swear to get better.
I hate how everything is based on time. It seems like the times when I feel the happiest are always limited by time. Always.... One of the best times I have ever had, on Chysalis, was only for three days!!! That's no time what so ever. Church trips, outings with friends, and things of the sort only last for a fraction of second compared to the rest of life. I hate it. I wish I could just stay at a happy point at my life and never move on. I could tell you what it would be, but right now I'm trying not to think about it.
Do I act different? I swear I'm trying not to, trying to act the way you want, which is how I was before. So why do you say I can't go back?? Oh well, I'll keep on trying and doing my best to do whatever you want me to.
I like when Angel when said that some battles are only meant to be fought, but unable to be won. I take it to mean that just because there is no way you can win, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't fight. You always have to do the right thing, even if there doesn't seem to be a conclusion in sight. Don't fight for the victory, fight for the reason. I will continue fighting for my reason, even if I think that I cannot win.... It's worth the risk of failure. Oh, it's way worth the risk....
I'm getting upset with this, I really am. If you know what you're doing is stupid, don't pretend like it's not and find a way to fix it. I know you can, you are way too smart to not figure something out, and way too smart to not care, so I don't know what you're waiting on. Is it for a push, cause I can do plenty of that. I told you once before, and I'll tell you again, that anything you need, come to me. Emily's there too, and I know you know that. Make a choice, and make it the right one. My father used to give me 'the opportunity to make the right choice' like as to buy the baggy pants or the fitting ones. Then, if I didn't make the right choice, he would go back and fix it. We are giving you the opportunity to make the right choice. I know now that we can't force you to change, and you won't until you decide to, but we can sure try. She won't, and I wouldn't put her in the position to... But I think all three of us know that I will do whatever it takes. You may never talk to me again, but if it means that you're ok, then I'll be happier with that than you not being here at all. Tell me it can't happen one more time, and it'll be one more time that you're lieing to us both.
Sometimes fighting is by doing nothing, and sometimes that's the hardest thing to do.
I have church tonight and Emily didn't get off work like she said she would, so it's probably just going to be me and Ryan, unless he's got to work.
I’ma sing for you, I’ll do anything for you to see you smile - Eminem
I feel like I'm awake, and for the first time in forever. I like it, I feel good. I feel like maybe I'll actually be ok, and those around me too. Those that I would do anything for, Yes... I think we will all be ok.
I hate how everything is based on time. It seems like the times when I feel the happiest are always limited by time. Always.... One of the best times I have ever had, on Chysalis, was only for three days!!! That's no time what so ever. Church trips, outings with friends, and things of the sort only last for a fraction of second compared to the rest of life. I hate it. I wish I could just stay at a happy point at my life and never move on. I could tell you what it would be, but right now I'm trying not to think about it.
Do I act different? I swear I'm trying not to, trying to act the way you want, which is how I was before. So why do you say I can't go back?? Oh well, I'll keep on trying and doing my best to do whatever you want me to.
I like when Angel when said that some battles are only meant to be fought, but unable to be won. I take it to mean that just because there is no way you can win, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't fight. You always have to do the right thing, even if there doesn't seem to be a conclusion in sight. Don't fight for the victory, fight for the reason. I will continue fighting for my reason, even if I think that I cannot win.... It's worth the risk of failure. Oh, it's way worth the risk....
I'm getting upset with this, I really am. If you know what you're doing is stupid, don't pretend like it's not and find a way to fix it. I know you can, you are way too smart to not figure something out, and way too smart to not care, so I don't know what you're waiting on. Is it for a push, cause I can do plenty of that. I told you once before, and I'll tell you again, that anything you need, come to me. Emily's there too, and I know you know that. Make a choice, and make it the right one. My father used to give me 'the opportunity to make the right choice' like as to buy the baggy pants or the fitting ones. Then, if I didn't make the right choice, he would go back and fix it. We are giving you the opportunity to make the right choice. I know now that we can't force you to change, and you won't until you decide to, but we can sure try. She won't, and I wouldn't put her in the position to... But I think all three of us know that I will do whatever it takes. You may never talk to me again, but if it means that you're ok, then I'll be happier with that than you not being here at all. Tell me it can't happen one more time, and it'll be one more time that you're lieing to us both.
Sometimes fighting is by doing nothing, and sometimes that's the hardest thing to do.
I have church tonight and Emily didn't get off work like she said she would, so it's probably just going to be me and Ryan, unless he's got to work.
I’ma sing for you, I’ll do anything for you to see you smile - Eminem
I feel like I'm awake, and for the first time in forever. I like it, I feel good. I feel like maybe I'll actually be ok, and those around me too. Those that I would do anything for, Yes... I think we will all be ok.