Goodbye 2014
2014 has been bittersweet, and I was tempted to skip this review of the year altogether. But what the heck. In life, you win some, you lose some.
I will remember this year as the year I opened my heart again after spending the last 3 years in solitude. It has been a big step. I never felt like I was ready, but this year I finally felt that the heart has recovered enough with sufficient emotional bandwidth to "try one more time". So I did, but this was certainly not without a whole lot of hesitation and trepidation. It's easy to get into a relationship. On hindsight now, perhaps it was sillyfor me to start one with someone I had no feelings for. He seemed like an ok chap, and I had thought then that 'Love will come'.
Love did not come. Not even for a moment. Over the following 6 months, which was how long that rubbish relationship lasted, I don't think there was even one week of peace. It makes me angry with myself now when I think about how I put up with it for so long. After having spent the last 3 years in an emotionally dark place, I do concede that part of the reason why the relationship failed was because I had less patience for bullshit of any kind. This does not mean that I did not give it my best try though, but it really felt like I was stuck perpetually in reverse. So I cut loss and moved on. Subsequently, I adopted this as my modus operandi, and it got easier letting go of people who weren't right for me. It's funny that it is only when I choose to pull the plug that these people wake up. They tell me they didn't mean the things they said or did, and they want to continue trying. But it is too late.
If you love someone, decide so. Make effort to show how much you care. Cherish them. Make them smile. Hold them to sleep, and tell them with your eyes how much you enjoy spending time with them. Why is it so difficult? I don't know what games they like to play, but it is not for me. 2015 cannot be worse than this year for relationships, I swear! So I guess in that respect, there are only good things to look forward to.
All my family and friends have remained healthy and strong throughout 2014. No one died or fell prey to major illness. Thank god. I give thanks everyday for my stable of supportive friends, and for the countless opportunities to make new ones. On a tangent note, I should really go easy on the drinking and cigar smoking in 2015. Hehe.
I travelled a little this year - to Hong Kong, Korea and Greece. But I cannot talk about these places without feeling the stab in my heart over Tibet. Don't think I am even over it yet, even as I begin my training for next year's trip. I will conquer you, Tibet 2015! I will also go to Japan for the first time in 2015 to snowboard. Countdown stands at T-30 days. So excited!
Work has been fairly steady this year. We have a new business arm, and my team will agree that half the time we had no idea what we were doing. But we have managed somehow. One of my team mates is leaving soon, and it is quite a bittersweet moment. We've been a solid team of 4 people for the last 6 years, but now that is no more. I pray 2015 will be a peaceful year of solid business.
Looking back on 2014, if I could pin it down to one moment that made it all worthwhile, it was this:
In Santorini, Greece, sitting out of the pristine white balcony of the very stunning Remezzo Villas, and watching the sun go down over the horizon. It was so quiet, so peaceful, and achingly beautiful. I remember thinking to myself then: I am in love. Not with one person. But with this moment in time, this place, this life, this universe. If this is not a the best life I have, then I don't know what is. La dolce vita...
Happy New Year, my darlings. Party like a rockstar tonight! Keep safe. 2015 we are ready for you! I already have three bottles of champagne in the freezer...