Everything Has Changed and People are Gone (Brittany/Santana)
Name: Everything Has Changed and People are Gone
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1120
Spoilers: New York
Summary: Brittany gets Rachel to record her original songs for her, to replace the emptiness of her nights without Santana there beside her.
Author's Note: The prompt for this was from letscall_l and I butchered it completely which is terribly rude considering she fills all my prompts without butchering them. But anyway, the title is from "Strange Girl" by The Airborne Toxic Event meaning it is super appropriate and angsty. Which should tell you a lot about the fic.
"You want...what, Brittany?"
Rachel stares up at Brittany with her head cocked to the side in confusion. Brittany thinks she looks like a dog, one of the cute dogs Santana takes her to see at the pet store whenever Brittany is sad.
It doesn't always make her unsad, but she likes that Santana is trying to cheer her up and keep her happy. It's sweet. And the dogs are cute, and Santana always looks at her like she's not quite there. Like, she sees Brittany smiling down at the puppies and sitting on the floor with them as they bounce around between her legs and chewing on Santana's laced-up shoes, but really sees some place in her head where she and Brittany are having fun with their puppy, in their house, one day.
Brittany can always tell, because Santana looks so happy but so sad, because she knows that one day isn't here, and that maybe one day will never come. And Santana doesn't know how to change that, not right now. It makes Brittany's heart ache, and she always picks up the puppy and shoves it into Santana's arms, just to make that day seem a little more achievable, a little more real.
But Santana's eyes are still sad, and Brittany's heart still aches, and when it ends, they still don't kiss each other goodnight or snuggle up together, like they used to, and she feels like she's swimming in a supernova of sadness. Sam had said that, before he had moved over the summer, to where his dad's new job was. Washington, the state. Quinn had cried as he left, and the rest of the club had cried when his sister had wrapped her little arms around Quinn's pale legs and cried.
Supernova of sadness.
"I want a supernova," Brittany whispers, and she blinks down at Rachel. Rachel blinks back, and Brittany realizes her head got too far ahead of her mouth and spoke without her permission. Only Santana ever seems to understand her when she does that, and Rachel isn't Santana. Or else Brittany might be sad right now.
"I want a recording of "My Headband" and all your other original songs, Rach!" she says, bouncing into Rachel's house and waving hello to the men sitting on Rachel's living room couch.
"Oh! Your supernova reference must've been to the metaphorical explosion of my stardom! How clever, Brittany. And of course I would provide you with a recording of my original songs. I've heard you enjoy them."
She just wants something to listen to when she tries to sleep at night when Santana isn't breathing next to her. She feels cold and hot and miserable all at the same time and she feels as though she could cry and roll into a ball like a roly poly and it wouldn't make her whole. Not like Santana does.
She needed something. She needed something.
"I need something," Brittany says, and blinks and smiles down at Rachel. Rachel bursts into a tizzy and runs up the stairs, before she drags Brittany down to her basement.
"I can give you as much as you want, Brittany! We have a makeshift recording studio, as you can see," Rachel gestures to the glass enclosure, the corner where Brittany had stripped almost all of her clothes off before Santana had dragged her down with a worried eye and pulled her away from Artie and had licked her tongue across Brittany's stomach. Salt might've been involved.
"Tasty."
"Yes, Brittany exactly! Tasty. Okay, so please, just choose what you would like for me to record while I cobble together some recordings for you! I'll start on "My Headband" and "Only Child" right away!"
Rachel bounces away to the glass and Brittany looks through the pages and pages of papers, some with songs about the weather, some with encounters with gay boyfriends (she sorts "I Like Your Tie'"into the 'please record' pile). There's a section of songs towards the bottom that are strange, and more specific than the others. One is named "Chocolate Thunder," another named, "Blonde Ambition," another named, "Crazy Legs," and Brittany smiles when she sees her name scribbled at the top corner.
They're about the glee club, and everyone has songs, and Brittany sorts "Crazy Legs," and Kurt's song, "Rainbow Rider," and Finn's song, "Too Tall," and Mike and Tina's "Asian Cagin'."
She notices that Quinn, and Santana don't have songs, and Brittany frowns and shuffles past a few songs named "Cake and Pie," and "Don't Kill That Chicken," before she lands on pages that are covered in scribbles and scratches.
The first one she sees is "Get it Right," the song Rachel performed at regionals. It has teardrops on it, and Brittany frowns. A supernova.
The next song is named "Green" and Brittany frowns again at the page as she reads about Rachel's many, many feelings on Quinn, her other best friend, the one she's made out with very little as compared to Santana, her other best friend. They're sad words, and they're angry ones, but they sound funny in Brittany's heart when she sings them to herself. They aren't quite right.
They remind her of Santana, and she remembers that Quinn and Santana seem much too alike these days.
The other song, the last song in the pile, is Santana's. And it makes Brittany want to cry. She puts them both in the record pile and she watches Rachel cry when she sings both of them. And she cries when she listens to them again when she falls asleep.
Santana doesn't hear her CD until she comes over for a movie day, and she sings along to 'My Headband' with a wicked smile on her face, and makes fun of Rachel and her ridiculous words. And Brittany knows, Brittany knows that Santana doesn't hate Rachel, but makes fun of her to make Brittany smile. And she's learned the words to Brittany's favorite song just to make Brittany happy.
But then Santana hears her song. And she stops smiling.
you'll never be okay
you'll never be alright
unless you hold her in your arms
and you hold her tight
Santana is quiet. And so Brittany goes back to "My Headband" and watches Santana mumble it to herself as she looks at the television, but Brittany knows she's far far away.
She hopes they are happy, wherever she is. Because she feels like a supernova, right now.
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1120
Spoilers: New York
Summary: Brittany gets Rachel to record her original songs for her, to replace the emptiness of her nights without Santana there beside her.
Author's Note: The prompt for this was from letscall_l and I butchered it completely which is terribly rude considering she fills all my prompts without butchering them. But anyway, the title is from "Strange Girl" by The Airborne Toxic Event meaning it is super appropriate and angsty. Which should tell you a lot about the fic.
"You want...what, Brittany?"
Rachel stares up at Brittany with her head cocked to the side in confusion. Brittany thinks she looks like a dog, one of the cute dogs Santana takes her to see at the pet store whenever Brittany is sad.
It doesn't always make her unsad, but she likes that Santana is trying to cheer her up and keep her happy. It's sweet. And the dogs are cute, and Santana always looks at her like she's not quite there. Like, she sees Brittany smiling down at the puppies and sitting on the floor with them as they bounce around between her legs and chewing on Santana's laced-up shoes, but really sees some place in her head where she and Brittany are having fun with their puppy, in their house, one day.
Brittany can always tell, because Santana looks so happy but so sad, because she knows that one day isn't here, and that maybe one day will never come. And Santana doesn't know how to change that, not right now. It makes Brittany's heart ache, and she always picks up the puppy and shoves it into Santana's arms, just to make that day seem a little more achievable, a little more real.
But Santana's eyes are still sad, and Brittany's heart still aches, and when it ends, they still don't kiss each other goodnight or snuggle up together, like they used to, and she feels like she's swimming in a supernova of sadness. Sam had said that, before he had moved over the summer, to where his dad's new job was. Washington, the state. Quinn had cried as he left, and the rest of the club had cried when his sister had wrapped her little arms around Quinn's pale legs and cried.
Supernova of sadness.
"I want a supernova," Brittany whispers, and she blinks down at Rachel. Rachel blinks back, and Brittany realizes her head got too far ahead of her mouth and spoke without her permission. Only Santana ever seems to understand her when she does that, and Rachel isn't Santana. Or else Brittany might be sad right now.
"I want a recording of "My Headband" and all your other original songs, Rach!" she says, bouncing into Rachel's house and waving hello to the men sitting on Rachel's living room couch.
"Oh! Your supernova reference must've been to the metaphorical explosion of my stardom! How clever, Brittany. And of course I would provide you with a recording of my original songs. I've heard you enjoy them."
She just wants something to listen to when she tries to sleep at night when Santana isn't breathing next to her. She feels cold and hot and miserable all at the same time and she feels as though she could cry and roll into a ball like a roly poly and it wouldn't make her whole. Not like Santana does.
She needed something. She needed something.
"I need something," Brittany says, and blinks and smiles down at Rachel. Rachel bursts into a tizzy and runs up the stairs, before she drags Brittany down to her basement.
"I can give you as much as you want, Brittany! We have a makeshift recording studio, as you can see," Rachel gestures to the glass enclosure, the corner where Brittany had stripped almost all of her clothes off before Santana had dragged her down with a worried eye and pulled her away from Artie and had licked her tongue across Brittany's stomach. Salt might've been involved.
"Tasty."
"Yes, Brittany exactly! Tasty. Okay, so please, just choose what you would like for me to record while I cobble together some recordings for you! I'll start on "My Headband" and "Only Child" right away!"
Rachel bounces away to the glass and Brittany looks through the pages and pages of papers, some with songs about the weather, some with encounters with gay boyfriends (she sorts "I Like Your Tie'"into the 'please record' pile). There's a section of songs towards the bottom that are strange, and more specific than the others. One is named "Chocolate Thunder," another named, "Blonde Ambition," another named, "Crazy Legs," and Brittany smiles when she sees her name scribbled at the top corner.
They're about the glee club, and everyone has songs, and Brittany sorts "Crazy Legs," and Kurt's song, "Rainbow Rider," and Finn's song, "Too Tall," and Mike and Tina's "Asian Cagin'."
She notices that Quinn, and Santana don't have songs, and Brittany frowns and shuffles past a few songs named "Cake and Pie," and "Don't Kill That Chicken," before she lands on pages that are covered in scribbles and scratches.
The first one she sees is "Get it Right," the song Rachel performed at regionals. It has teardrops on it, and Brittany frowns. A supernova.
The next song is named "Green" and Brittany frowns again at the page as she reads about Rachel's many, many feelings on Quinn, her other best friend, the one she's made out with very little as compared to Santana, her other best friend. They're sad words, and they're angry ones, but they sound funny in Brittany's heart when she sings them to herself. They aren't quite right.
They remind her of Santana, and she remembers that Quinn and Santana seem much too alike these days.
The other song, the last song in the pile, is Santana's. And it makes Brittany want to cry. She puts them both in the record pile and she watches Rachel cry when she sings both of them. And she cries when she listens to them again when she falls asleep.
Santana doesn't hear her CD until she comes over for a movie day, and she sings along to 'My Headband' with a wicked smile on her face, and makes fun of Rachel and her ridiculous words. And Brittany knows, Brittany knows that Santana doesn't hate Rachel, but makes fun of her to make Brittany smile. And she's learned the words to Brittany's favorite song just to make Brittany happy.
But then Santana hears her song. And she stops smiling.
you'll never be okay
you'll never be alright
unless you hold her in your arms
and you hold her tight
Santana is quiet. And so Brittany goes back to "My Headband" and watches Santana mumble it to herself as she looks at the television, but Brittany knows she's far far away.
She hopes they are happy, wherever she is. Because she feels like a supernova, right now.