fic: i will be with you when you lose your breath
Title: i will be with you when you lose your breath
Rating: R
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Barty/Regulus
Word Count: 1,452
Warnings: Violence, swearing
Author's notes: written for cutthroatpixie in fandomcommerce for the 2009 winter thing. I just wanted to archive it here otherwise I will forget about it. :D
Regulus hadn't wanted to end up loving him.
It started in first year, when Barty had sprung up from the bed, wide eyed and grinning with all his teeth, and saying "we're going to be friends!" From then on, Barty was everywhere Regulus was, in classes, during meals, on weekends; he filled every space that Regulus had set aside privately for himself and bloomed into Regulus's thoughts whenever he was least needed. He dragged Regulus, who thought himself reluctant the first few times, on his escapades around the castle, casting curses when the fancy struck him and sharing private jokes about the rest of the school.
The realization came when Barty flung his arms around Regulus's shoulders sometime in their third year and Regulus found that he didn't even care that his ink spilled over his essay and his hair was all mussed up, as long as Barty kept on smiling at him like that.
"What's the matter?" Barty had poked at his side with cold fingers. "Cat got your tongue?"
Regulus shrugged nonchalantly. "Do I need to respond to every inappropriate gesture you make? I don't need to smile at you when you ruin my potions essay."
"You'll do anything I ask you to," Barty smirked with wicked eyes, not realizing the truth in Regulus's beating heart.
*
Barty cast arms around shoulders, tackled Regulus in the hallways, even crawled into his bed in the winter, so it was less of a surprise than it should have been when Regulus was firmly kissed one night in the freezing (and thus conveniently deserted) common room. Barty's lips were chapped and Regulus's were bloody from chewing on them all day, but the experience still left Regulus heady and pressing back insistently. Barty was impulsive and confident even in his kissing, and Regulus was all too willing to let Barty take control, as long as their mouths didn't part. Regulus still wasn't sure exactly what it meant, what they meant, but he wasn't about to stop.
A couple weeks afterwards, when swollen red bite marks began appearing on Regulus's pale neck, Bellatrix accosted him in the hallway.
"What are you playing at?" she drawled, casually inspecting her fingernails.
"Not playing at anything, Bella," he replied in the same aristocratic tone. She surely couldn't have forgotten that he, too, was a Black.
"Don't try the same games your brother did, Reg," Bella warned. Her dark eyes slid up and lingered on the marks on his neck, and a little chill raced down Regulus's spine. He resisted the urge to raise a concealing hand to them. "You can't lie to your kin."
"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Regulus said. He could keep this up for ages; if she thought he was going to snap in anger like Sirius would have, she was in for a disappointment.
"Not to you, but to your little friend, perhaps?" She took a step closer, the sharp smell of her racing to his head, and pushed his white collar aside to fully expose the imprint of Barty's teeth. Regulus's breath became shallow as she traced smooth circles along the mark. "He might want to keep himself a little less…conspicuous."
"I'll keep that in mind," Regulus breathed.
Bellatrix chuckled, low. "If you're going to fuck around at school," she whispered, getting impossibly close, "you might as well keep it in the family." She retracted herself and continued down the hallway with a bounce in her step.
"What was all that about?" Barty said, coming up swiftly behind Regulus.
Regulus touched the spot on his neck lightly, and said nothing.
*
Barty was all fidgeting and nervousness in the hours before the ceremony, even more than usual. It was nearing eleven and he was scratching, pacing, drumming his fingers on the table so much that Regulus normally wouldn't have been able to stand it. He sat quietly on the green bedspread, hands clasped between his knees. The rest of their like-minded friends had offered their discreet congratulations hours ago, and now there was only waiting.
Barty started up again with a jolt from the bed, tearing at his blonde hair and finally Regulus jumped up and grabbed his wrists. "Stop it," he hissed, keeping his hold firm although Barty tried to twitch away. "It doesn't help for you to be as nervous on the outside as I am on the inside."
"It's just-this is so important." Barty bit his lip. "I don't know how you're being so damn calm about it. It's what we've been waiting for, for years now, and I can't stand waiting now."
What we've been waiting for; Regulus supposed it was. He'd been groomed for the role for years by his family, and Barty had swept him up in what he had assumed was their shared dream. He remembered reading out Grindelwald's theses and muttering discreetly about the latest actions of the Dark Lord, but he remembered more the light in Barty's eyes when he became enthusiastic and the way their foreheads pressed together over the scribbled pieces of news. Even when he thought about Barty and him getting the Dark Mark now, he could only think of the pain that would be in his eyes afterwards, that he'd seen in Bellatrix and Rodolphus and Alecto, and how he wouldn't be able to heal any of it.
Jerked back to the present moment, Regulus loosed his hold on Barty's wrist and met Barty's hard, focused gaze. "I-" he began, then fiercely drew Barty close to him, knocking knees and noses as they kissed. It was something that Regulus drew strength from, even if Barty saw it as just a distraction, and Regulus could still feel the tenseness of Barty's muscles under his hands.
When wands were finally pressed into their arms, their eyes locked and the image of Barty smiling so hard was seared into Regulus's mind as the skull was seared into his flesh.
*
He had killed nine people before he was nineteen (a man who refused to stand down; a girl who was quiet as she crumbled). They frequented the country on their "little visits," as Bellatrix liked to call them, where no one was close enough to heed their cries. She and Barty swept through the towns like whirlwinds, flinging curses and horrifically pleased laughter with Regulus hot on their heels. He saw the wildness in both of their eyes as they brought a woman to her knees and their laughter as she grew still.
It was on one of these visits that Regulus was crouched over the ground, breath whistling through his bloody nose and spraying small drops all over the dark earth. He was cold everywhere, and he wiped his nose ineffectually on his sleeve. It was dark, and he couldn't tell if the blood stained his robes through the thin eyeholes of his mask.
A hand on his back caused him to flinch and scrabbled for his wand in the grass, before he saw that it was Barty, his hair glowing in the dim light like an ironic halo. He pulled Regulus to his feet without a word and dragged him with surprising strength towards the edge of the clearing, towards the woods.
Bella was languishing on the edge, twirling her wand between her fingers. She barely seemed to care when she saw Regulus. "The mudblood didn't kill you, then?" she said curtly. She was always to the point when they were on business. "Good. I need another little toy to play with."
"Ah, Bella," Barty smiled, licking his lips. "We saved this next one for Regulus, didn't we?" Regulus could feel the bile rising in his throat, and tried to tell himself it was from the recent attack.
Bellatrix rolled her eyes and stepped aside; behind her, Regulus could see a body on the ground, broken and still. Bella smirked and twirled her wand yet again in that teasing manner, causing the form to convulse horribly.
"Take your turn," Bella breathed hot and frantic in his ear, "put all the power you have into making him suffer."
Regulus couldn't move a muscle, couldn't run from the scene and couldn't whisper the incantation for a curse. The Black blood in his veins was telling him to raise his wand, but every other part of his body was screaming away from the act. The man on the ground let out a weak groan as Bellatrix muttered frenziedly in his ear. Regulus tore his gaze away from the scene and the confusion, and turned to Barty.
Barty looked up at him with wide, hungry eyes and grinned with a ferocity that struck at Regulus's heart.
Regulus raised his wand.
Rating: R
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Barty/Regulus
Word Count: 1,452
Warnings: Violence, swearing
Author's notes: written for cutthroatpixie in fandomcommerce for the 2009 winter thing. I just wanted to archive it here otherwise I will forget about it. :D
Regulus hadn't wanted to end up loving him.
It started in first year, when Barty had sprung up from the bed, wide eyed and grinning with all his teeth, and saying "we're going to be friends!" From then on, Barty was everywhere Regulus was, in classes, during meals, on weekends; he filled every space that Regulus had set aside privately for himself and bloomed into Regulus's thoughts whenever he was least needed. He dragged Regulus, who thought himself reluctant the first few times, on his escapades around the castle, casting curses when the fancy struck him and sharing private jokes about the rest of the school.
The realization came when Barty flung his arms around Regulus's shoulders sometime in their third year and Regulus found that he didn't even care that his ink spilled over his essay and his hair was all mussed up, as long as Barty kept on smiling at him like that.
"What's the matter?" Barty had poked at his side with cold fingers. "Cat got your tongue?"
Regulus shrugged nonchalantly. "Do I need to respond to every inappropriate gesture you make? I don't need to smile at you when you ruin my potions essay."
"You'll do anything I ask you to," Barty smirked with wicked eyes, not realizing the truth in Regulus's beating heart.
*
Barty cast arms around shoulders, tackled Regulus in the hallways, even crawled into his bed in the winter, so it was less of a surprise than it should have been when Regulus was firmly kissed one night in the freezing (and thus conveniently deserted) common room. Barty's lips were chapped and Regulus's were bloody from chewing on them all day, but the experience still left Regulus heady and pressing back insistently. Barty was impulsive and confident even in his kissing, and Regulus was all too willing to let Barty take control, as long as their mouths didn't part. Regulus still wasn't sure exactly what it meant, what they meant, but he wasn't about to stop.
A couple weeks afterwards, when swollen red bite marks began appearing on Regulus's pale neck, Bellatrix accosted him in the hallway.
"What are you playing at?" she drawled, casually inspecting her fingernails.
"Not playing at anything, Bella," he replied in the same aristocratic tone. She surely couldn't have forgotten that he, too, was a Black.
"Don't try the same games your brother did, Reg," Bella warned. Her dark eyes slid up and lingered on the marks on his neck, and a little chill raced down Regulus's spine. He resisted the urge to raise a concealing hand to them. "You can't lie to your kin."
"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Regulus said. He could keep this up for ages; if she thought he was going to snap in anger like Sirius would have, she was in for a disappointment.
"Not to you, but to your little friend, perhaps?" She took a step closer, the sharp smell of her racing to his head, and pushed his white collar aside to fully expose the imprint of Barty's teeth. Regulus's breath became shallow as she traced smooth circles along the mark. "He might want to keep himself a little less…conspicuous."
"I'll keep that in mind," Regulus breathed.
Bellatrix chuckled, low. "If you're going to fuck around at school," she whispered, getting impossibly close, "you might as well keep it in the family." She retracted herself and continued down the hallway with a bounce in her step.
"What was all that about?" Barty said, coming up swiftly behind Regulus.
Regulus touched the spot on his neck lightly, and said nothing.
*
Barty was all fidgeting and nervousness in the hours before the ceremony, even more than usual. It was nearing eleven and he was scratching, pacing, drumming his fingers on the table so much that Regulus normally wouldn't have been able to stand it. He sat quietly on the green bedspread, hands clasped between his knees. The rest of their like-minded friends had offered their discreet congratulations hours ago, and now there was only waiting.
Barty started up again with a jolt from the bed, tearing at his blonde hair and finally Regulus jumped up and grabbed his wrists. "Stop it," he hissed, keeping his hold firm although Barty tried to twitch away. "It doesn't help for you to be as nervous on the outside as I am on the inside."
"It's just-this is so important." Barty bit his lip. "I don't know how you're being so damn calm about it. It's what we've been waiting for, for years now, and I can't stand waiting now."
What we've been waiting for; Regulus supposed it was. He'd been groomed for the role for years by his family, and Barty had swept him up in what he had assumed was their shared dream. He remembered reading out Grindelwald's theses and muttering discreetly about the latest actions of the Dark Lord, but he remembered more the light in Barty's eyes when he became enthusiastic and the way their foreheads pressed together over the scribbled pieces of news. Even when he thought about Barty and him getting the Dark Mark now, he could only think of the pain that would be in his eyes afterwards, that he'd seen in Bellatrix and Rodolphus and Alecto, and how he wouldn't be able to heal any of it.
Jerked back to the present moment, Regulus loosed his hold on Barty's wrist and met Barty's hard, focused gaze. "I-" he began, then fiercely drew Barty close to him, knocking knees and noses as they kissed. It was something that Regulus drew strength from, even if Barty saw it as just a distraction, and Regulus could still feel the tenseness of Barty's muscles under his hands.
When wands were finally pressed into their arms, their eyes locked and the image of Barty smiling so hard was seared into Regulus's mind as the skull was seared into his flesh.
*
He had killed nine people before he was nineteen (a man who refused to stand down; a girl who was quiet as she crumbled). They frequented the country on their "little visits," as Bellatrix liked to call them, where no one was close enough to heed their cries. She and Barty swept through the towns like whirlwinds, flinging curses and horrifically pleased laughter with Regulus hot on their heels. He saw the wildness in both of their eyes as they brought a woman to her knees and their laughter as she grew still.
It was on one of these visits that Regulus was crouched over the ground, breath whistling through his bloody nose and spraying small drops all over the dark earth. He was cold everywhere, and he wiped his nose ineffectually on his sleeve. It was dark, and he couldn't tell if the blood stained his robes through the thin eyeholes of his mask.
A hand on his back caused him to flinch and scrabbled for his wand in the grass, before he saw that it was Barty, his hair glowing in the dim light like an ironic halo. He pulled Regulus to his feet without a word and dragged him with surprising strength towards the edge of the clearing, towards the woods.
Bella was languishing on the edge, twirling her wand between her fingers. She barely seemed to care when she saw Regulus. "The mudblood didn't kill you, then?" she said curtly. She was always to the point when they were on business. "Good. I need another little toy to play with."
"Ah, Bella," Barty smiled, licking his lips. "We saved this next one for Regulus, didn't we?" Regulus could feel the bile rising in his throat, and tried to tell himself it was from the recent attack.
Bellatrix rolled her eyes and stepped aside; behind her, Regulus could see a body on the ground, broken and still. Bella smirked and twirled her wand yet again in that teasing manner, causing the form to convulse horribly.
"Take your turn," Bella breathed hot and frantic in his ear, "put all the power you have into making him suffer."
Regulus couldn't move a muscle, couldn't run from the scene and couldn't whisper the incantation for a curse. The Black blood in his veins was telling him to raise his wand, but every other part of his body was screaming away from the act. The man on the ground let out a weak groan as Bellatrix muttered frenziedly in his ear. Regulus tore his gaze away from the scene and the confusion, and turned to Barty.
Barty looked up at him with wide, hungry eyes and grinned with a ferocity that struck at Regulus's heart.
Regulus raised his wand.