my first orginal fantasy story...*dies of happiness*

[moony810]

Welcome to my first ever original fantasy story, A Dragon's Duel! Please comment, and be gentle with the rotten fruit, though concrit is welcome. Oh, and, here's a quick pronunciation guide for the characters' names:

Mir'n: Me-REHN
Tar'k: TEAR-ik
Pyro'k: PIE-rock
Blizro'k: bliz-ROCK
Ileia: ill-LAY-uh

And here's the story, enjoy!

A Dragon's Duel

“Come on,

Comments

[music_lover3]

Wow, I like this. Very interesting. Three things: Does Mir'n already know about being a descendent before this event? How? And if they needed a new ruler, where was the other one? Or did they not have one after Ileia? One more thing...the...ghost?...of Ileia has pigtails. It seems a little girly to me, not something a warrior and princess would look like. But maybe that's just me. If you intended it to be that way, that's fine. It's just not usually the way grown women wear their hair. Other than that stuff, it was really good!!! Do you plan on adding more to it??

[moony810]

In order, (1) yes, Mir'n did know, the knowledge had been passed down through the family, she just didn't know about all the powers that came with us.

(2)No, there was no ruler. Blizro'k had pawns to carry out her will even though she was sealed away, and they would kill anyone who tried to take the throne.

(3)Ileia's hairstyle: she was about twenty something when she died, so I didn't think it was that much of a stretch to put her hair like that. And the pigtails I meant weren't exactly little girl style pigtails. You know Tsunade from Naruto? I meant pigtails like hers. Sorry 'bout that!

[moony810]

And I forgot to mention: about the last bit, I am planning a sequel, though at present it's a bare skeleton of a story, so that probably won't be up for a while yet. ^___^. Also, I've got quite a few other projects on the table that I need to work on, so...

[music_lover3]

Whoops. I didn't see that when I commented. Anyway, can't wait to read the sequel, and I definitely understand about the other projects. Have fun!!

[moony810]

Thank you!

Yes, fun. Phsycotic dolls and wax museums...oh my!
(pardon the terrible pun)

[music_lover3]

Your welcome. LOL. Can't wait to read what else you're cooking up!!

[moony810]

Well, the phsychotic-dolls-wax-museums stuff is fanfiction I wrote, which can be found here if you want to read it: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/750737/

But I do have another original story in mind...though when I'll have time to type it up, I've no idea...

[music_lover3]

I'm sure you'll find time. :)

[moony810]

Yeah...sometime this century, hopefully. *sweatdrop*

[music_lover3]

Oh, OK. All that makes more sense. I've never seen Naruto, but I think I know what you're talking about. Maybe if you described them in more detail...Anyway, sounds cool!! Are you going to add more to this?? That would be way cool if you did!

[moony810]

Yeah, sorry. I'm not too fussed about it now, since it's my journal, but were I ever to publish it anyplace else(online or otherwise) I would definitely add some more description about the pigtails.

[music_lover3]

Sounds cool!

[moony810]

And necessary to avoid more confusion. Or I could just do some illustration too, and have the part where she's talking to Tar'k one of the illustrated parts.

[music_lover3]

Sounds interesting. I would stick with the writing portion myself, but doing an illustration sounds like fun, too!!

[moony810]

Yeah, or just put in a small note about how to pronounce the names and then just draw each character under their name.