mildly amusing
25 ways to tell you're grown up
1. Your houseplants are all alive and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. Six a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the weather channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You no longer know what time taco bell closes.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the entire date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine in no longer "pretty good shit".
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never gonna drink that way again."
23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is actually for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money instead of going to a bar.
25. When you find out a friend is pregnant you say "Congratulations" instead of "Oh shit, what the hell happened."
Hey, txredhead does number twenty sound familiar?
1. Your houseplants are all alive and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. Six a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the weather channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You no longer know what time taco bell closes.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the entire date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine in no longer "pretty good shit".
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never gonna drink that way again."
23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is actually for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money instead of going to a bar.
25. When you find out a friend is pregnant you say "Congratulations" instead of "Oh shit, what the hell happened."
Hey, txredhead does number twenty sound familiar?