(no subject)
I could wear a brown hat, kill a dragon and carry its heart on one of my sleeves for the whole world to see, just to be a boy. They can drag me out in red and pile gems onto my chest, and I'll stare into the mirror and think to myself, I should be in the dirt, I should dig my nails into something dirty; taste life. I could break my eyes and pull out chunks of stones but still smell the midwest on my jacket, lingering like a bad cough that just becomes a habit. You say things in my ear in spanish, you mix it up with english and i close my eyes and pretend that i'm a boy. How am I supposed to love myself when I'm stuck in a house, when I should be rushing through the rivers and guarding the sheep? How am I supposed to dream when my mind doesn't work at night, and during the day I'm too focused on the light.