To be Strong or to be Gentle
So......
My friends always say "you are so strong", "its alright for you, your strong", "Easy for you to say, you dont have that problem, your so strong".
Ill be honest here, these are to me the most insulting and frustraiting of comments.
Why?
Becuase they dehumanise me. They put me on a pedastal and they reject me as a 2 dimentional easily identified person.
They make me less that I really am, by saying that I am incapable of all the plethora of weakness's and behaviours that make us all human.
Am I strong? Well yes I think I am. But that doesnt stop me being weak as well. That doesnt mean I am incapable of being soft, or gentle or vulnerable. That doesnt stop me from NEEDING support, caring, understanding and protection.
I like to think that we are all strong in different ways, just as we are all weak in different ways. But to say that some's strength negates both their opinion and their ability to sympathise/understand/relate is to diminish that person.
Am I strong? Not always. I can be vulnerable, I can have low esteem, be lonely, feel grief, be clumsy, be hurt, be confused.
I can be clutzy, silly, ridiculous, judgemental and frustraited. I can be tempermental, illogical, moody and lash out.
In other words..... I can be human too. Being strong is based on acceptance and confidence. And sometimes I dont have these. Sometimes what you take as being Strong, is being Weak and trying to hide it.
My friends always say "you are so strong", "its alright for you, your strong", "Easy for you to say, you dont have that problem, your so strong".
Ill be honest here, these are to me the most insulting and frustraiting of comments.
Why?
Becuase they dehumanise me. They put me on a pedastal and they reject me as a 2 dimentional easily identified person.
They make me less that I really am, by saying that I am incapable of all the plethora of weakness's and behaviours that make us all human.
Am I strong? Well yes I think I am. But that doesnt stop me being weak as well. That doesnt mean I am incapable of being soft, or gentle or vulnerable. That doesnt stop me from NEEDING support, caring, understanding and protection.
I like to think that we are all strong in different ways, just as we are all weak in different ways. But to say that some's strength negates both their opinion and their ability to sympathise/understand/relate is to diminish that person.
Am I strong? Not always. I can be vulnerable, I can have low esteem, be lonely, feel grief, be clumsy, be hurt, be confused.
I can be clutzy, silly, ridiculous, judgemental and frustraited. I can be tempermental, illogical, moody and lash out.
In other words..... I can be human too. Being strong is based on acceptance and confidence. And sometimes I dont have these. Sometimes what you take as being Strong, is being Weak and trying to hide it.