Gaspillé dans son lit...

Jan 21, 2003 22:37

I don't feel that great. As a matter of fact I feel awful. I have just returned from the hospital, and it appears that chances are high that my grandmother will probably die. Death is a part of life, I know, and it will be accepted. It's just so depressing. My mom has been upset, and numerous times I have come to her and she's in tears. I'm outside looking in, and it doesn't appear there's much to do about it - it feels that way. I feel things so easily. I feel things from others like a giant emotional sponge that needs to be wrung out after so long. I'm so nervous, and feeling antsy,and maybe not quite sure what to do with myself. School is hard, and pressuring. And I'm working 2 jobs, and it hurts. I'm hurting,and I don't think I should be. I feel like such a brat, but I guess I'm a dork, and spaz, and far too analytical for my own well-being. Comprise myself. I'll get through it. Won't function anymore if I don't...

I smoked a cigarette to and from the hospital of my grandmother who has emphysima.
Aye, me. I'm emotional.

My grandmother's hands - they were swollen, and not wrinkly like normal. I think it gave her an almost youthful glow. *sigh*

It's all just being reborn, anyway, isn't it?
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