oh god
I have serious major stage fright all of a sudden. Not only do I need to create a meaningful ceremony, I have to say it in front of 100+ people. I've realized, that my upbringing was quite different from crouchback's. I'm still not comfortable with all of his family. There are a few people in his family who I am much more comfortable with, and they are obviously much more friendly with me. I grew up with an extremely small family (estranged from my father's side for half my life because of some stupid argument they had when I was a child), with just my brother, my parents, grandparents and an aunt/uncle. I'm very uncertain because I can't hear anyone, mostly. I'm more comfortable off in Lithuana with *that* family of mine, speaking broken deafened childhood Lithuanian, than I am with his family.
I'm hoping his cousin ditches my shower, because I have a feeling I'm not going to make her shower. I have to get my dress fitted, go to three days of dog shows (thank god i missed the entry for that one, really. I'm just planning on going and watching and figuring out who is going to win and seeing what I can do better with myself. I have to run faster. I have no idea how to accomplish that at this point.)
This dog is going to win, damnit and soon, because it's really the only bit of accomplishment or self satisfaction I have right now. I'm a total novice, in a field that is generally 70-80% saturated with professional handlers, and finishing a dog within a year and a month. The women (relatively few men in this area with my breed, except like at the big IKC show where I rocked, totally, by winning shows two days in a row and racking up over half the points I needed. It was such a relief after the morbid failure on saturday when my dog was overstressed. I should have just pulled him from the ring. Next time, I will. And get him used to water being sprayed in his mouth. It was so hot and freaky crouded with dogs and people. Hell, I just don't think I'm going to enter on a saturday at a huge show like that again. I hated it, and the dog picks up on that).
Which leads me to be stressing on other issues, like what I'm actually doing with my life, and trying to find something I can do successfully and regularly. I don't know what that is going to be, but I have an idea.
I'm hoping his cousin ditches my shower, because I have a feeling I'm not going to make her shower. I have to get my dress fitted, go to three days of dog shows (thank god i missed the entry for that one, really. I'm just planning on going and watching and figuring out who is going to win and seeing what I can do better with myself. I have to run faster. I have no idea how to accomplish that at this point.)
This dog is going to win, damnit and soon, because it's really the only bit of accomplishment or self satisfaction I have right now. I'm a total novice, in a field that is generally 70-80% saturated with professional handlers, and finishing a dog within a year and a month. The women (relatively few men in this area with my breed, except like at the big IKC show where I rocked, totally, by winning shows two days in a row and racking up over half the points I needed. It was such a relief after the morbid failure on saturday when my dog was overstressed. I should have just pulled him from the ring. Next time, I will. And get him used to water being sprayed in his mouth. It was so hot and freaky crouded with dogs and people. Hell, I just don't think I'm going to enter on a saturday at a huge show like that again. I hated it, and the dog picks up on that).
Which leads me to be stressing on other issues, like what I'm actually doing with my life, and trying to find something I can do successfully and regularly. I don't know what that is going to be, but I have an idea.