Death Waiting at your Door
Wow it has been a good while since i have last posted. I am having fun here in ga. I like the fact that some things now are closer to me then what they use to be.
But any ways i am emoitionaly drained. I have watched my gradfather be taken by death and now we have reach the the home strech. This has been some scary shit. I can no longer stay at my house it drives me nuts. I have a good friendthat i stay with. It is quite enjoyable and relaxing. Today when i woke up i realized that i was just drained and i know my friend did to and was nice about it. but dear god please take him now.. I want to wake up and have my friend tell me that was yoour dad on the phone and your grandfather has past. Thats all i want i do not want to be here. And if i was i would be confind to th up stairs going nuts and i do not want that. I feel so helpless here cause i can not do anything to make him happy when i have to watch my grand father. I swear i will neaver go though this i am going to take this shot to kill me that they have in sweeden or switerland. Well thats all for now. i am going to the store with jackson to get food so he can cook for us all week. he made some mint tea which i am going to go get after i post this shit. O did i mention the other reason why i do nort like to stay here at night? My father built my grand fathers casket. which the garge or grandaddys room which we call it now is under my room. so i hear every thing and know that that thing , which in all means do not get me wrong is a token of pure love from the heart. I amm speaken of the casket here. it scares me to death to know that is under me. I know almost like a fucking lil kid scared of monsters under they bed. and the other factor to night staying here at night is we are up all hours cause i can here the knows. It is so hard to give him the meds , like the morophine and stuff.
Well thats all the venting i am going to do now. i can not wait until it is dark here so i can go hang out with my friends or what not. i really want to go out and have a ncie time with someone or do something fun and get wAsted so i can not even think about all this shit right now.
But any ways i am emoitionaly drained. I have watched my gradfather be taken by death and now we have reach the the home strech. This has been some scary shit. I can no longer stay at my house it drives me nuts. I have a good friendthat i stay with. It is quite enjoyable and relaxing. Today when i woke up i realized that i was just drained and i know my friend did to and was nice about it. but dear god please take him now.. I want to wake up and have my friend tell me that was yoour dad on the phone and your grandfather has past. Thats all i want i do not want to be here. And if i was i would be confind to th up stairs going nuts and i do not want that. I feel so helpless here cause i can not do anything to make him happy when i have to watch my grand father. I swear i will neaver go though this i am going to take this shot to kill me that they have in sweeden or switerland. Well thats all for now. i am going to the store with jackson to get food so he can cook for us all week. he made some mint tea which i am going to go get after i post this shit. O did i mention the other reason why i do nort like to stay here at night? My father built my grand fathers casket. which the garge or grandaddys room which we call it now is under my room. so i hear every thing and know that that thing , which in all means do not get me wrong is a token of pure love from the heart. I amm speaken of the casket here. it scares me to death to know that is under me. I know almost like a fucking lil kid scared of monsters under they bed. and the other factor to night staying here at night is we are up all hours cause i can here the knows. It is so hard to give him the meds , like the morophine and stuff.
Well thats all the venting i am going to do now. i can not wait until it is dark here so i can go hang out with my friends or what not. i really want to go out and have a ncie time with someone or do something fun and get wAsted so i can not even think about all this shit right now.