Hm...
So this weekend was interesting. I'm not gonna write about what happened because everyone knows anyways but I will write on my thoughts. So, I'm not sure if the rumors they say are true because I honestly wasn't really there to tell. I don't know why Spens would lie about something like that though but it is kinda freaking me out. Anyways, tomorrow everyone will be talking about someone else. What hurt me the most was seeing the look on my "brothers" face. He told me that he was really dissapointed (about the other part of what went on) because I told him I wouldn't do it and then I did. He hugged me and told me he loved me and wanted me to make good choices. So I think I'm taking a break for now. I never want him to look at me again the way he did today. I felt so ashamed and angry with myself. His respect for me is more important than fitting in. He told me we could hang out so I wouldn't have to put myself in that situation. I love him so much and I have to listen to him. On a different note, I wrote "Davie" a note in class today. It wasn't weird or anything, just a simple bored outta my mind note that talked about nothing really in particluar. Although I did tell him I wanted to hang out with him over the summer. I told him he could read it in class. He did and then he got real quiet and left our class right as the bell rang without saying a word to me. Sara says this doesn't necessarily mean he thinks I'm a freak now. She says he was probably just taken back because I guess I've never really written him a note before. But I was getting sick of sitting on my ass waiting for things to happen because they never will and I really don't care if I'm setting myself up for dissapointment. I see Mormon going after what she wants and she gets results. I told her that she forces me to get outta my comfort zone and take risks because only then will you get results. For that I thank her. Beth and I won today (2-6, 7-6, 6-1) Probably the most random meet we've ever had. Our scores were all over the board. Tomorrow we get out at 2:00 to play in Boone but that means I have to leave the class I have with him and I will never sit in front of him ever again or pass him notes. Tear