(no subject)
The fact is if you have made the decision to get married, thats fine. But if you think that by destroying a four year friendship to prove you're love, then you're obviously not. Four days before the my frienship card got burned, I still did something to him. Direct quote, even if he was drunk, "Hill, you know what you still do to me". My friendships are very important to me. The people I trust and love, never lose that trust or love, no matter how hard they try.
I'm so depressed it hurts. And I don't understand why its not going away. This isn't about me wanting to be with CJ anymore.
I am depressed, I am alone, and nothing is helping.
My bad decisions are doubling.
I'm not indulging in drinking, but the pills and the pins don't hurt so much.
The phone won't stop ringing.
I am angry, I am hurt, I can't stop crying, and the person who knows me the best won't talk to me.
Why is it I go crazy when he hurts my pride?
Why am I so proud.
What if he was the best thing that will ever happen to me?
What if I'm just scared.
Why can't I do this.
Why can't I stop crying.
This should have happened months ago.
I can't breath.
At first it was simply a we can't talk as much. But to then make it ever again, without talking to me about it, and being so cruel about it. All I want is my friend back.