i thought you were gone

[moonshining_sun]

god i thought it was gone. well i guess i was wrong. i thought that even if i think about it but not do it it would go away and be apart of my life no more. well needeless to say that didnt work out cuz it if did then well i wouldnt have u know? ugh all of a sudden it comes out of nowhere and eats at me until i do and then when i do all i can think about is doing some more and i know its bad but i cant stop thinking. and then i think that well thinking is not doing and then once in a while i do do and then i think about doing more and its just a vicious cycle... i just dont know what to do anymore. i cant put a stop to it so i might as well just surrender, but surrendering wouldnt be a good idea.. im sure of it. but.. i just dont know.

hurt and confusingly yours,
L