(no subject)
consider this my break from the study party from hell.
i hate my cells
wow its been a while. I havent really felt the need to write, moreso just beacuse i have been bottling things in my usual adorable way.
i like lj cuts. they make things seem more controlled, small, pretty.
oh dear
tommrow cell bio. thursday orgo. i am so scared. i am more prepared then i ever was last year but what if it is not enough? I am so sick of hearing ppl tell me to reach my potential. maybe that is all i have!!
but i know its not true. and i hate that. i hate my inability to get excited over the things that i love the most. beacuse i love what i am leanring. just not this course. this makes no sense. good thing i dont write here to make sense.
i dunno, my fear of failing is such a bitch. really, i knowi wont fail if i just WORK but why cant I?
beacuse i am a m.e.s.s. thats why.
fine, i am going to spit this out and i am going to make it so that there cant be comments beacuse i know the minture that i post this there will be massive amounts of judgement and i hate it. i hate feeling like someone is judging me even if they say they arnt. i hate the small glances they give you, or the usual silence... akward pause... ok lina. line. no. i hate it. and i hate that i have problems trusting ppl beacuse of it but i dont know how to fix it. I know its a problem.
my heater doesnt want to work. my toes are freezing and i am sleepy.
buuugggeeerrrr
oh and i am also putting myself in a position where i will most likely end up emotionally screweed again.
YESS
i'm stoked
loves
i hate my cells
wow its been a while. I havent really felt the need to write, moreso just beacuse i have been bottling things in my usual adorable way.
i like lj cuts. they make things seem more controlled, small, pretty.
oh dear
tommrow cell bio. thursday orgo. i am so scared. i am more prepared then i ever was last year but what if it is not enough? I am so sick of hearing ppl tell me to reach my potential. maybe that is all i have!!
but i know its not true. and i hate that. i hate my inability to get excited over the things that i love the most. beacuse i love what i am leanring. just not this course. this makes no sense. good thing i dont write here to make sense.
i dunno, my fear of failing is such a bitch. really, i knowi wont fail if i just WORK but why cant I?
beacuse i am a m.e.s.s. thats why.
fine, i am going to spit this out and i am going to make it so that there cant be comments beacuse i know the minture that i post this there will be massive amounts of judgement and i hate it. i hate feeling like someone is judging me even if they say they arnt. i hate the small glances they give you, or the usual silence... akward pause... ok lina. line. no. i hate it. and i hate that i have problems trusting ppl beacuse of it but i dont know how to fix it. I know its a problem.
my heater doesnt want to work. my toes are freezing and i am sleepy.
buuugggeeerrrr
oh and i am also putting myself in a position where i will most likely end up emotionally screweed again.
YESS
i'm stoked
loves