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[moonshadow3561]

One simple conversation is all it takes to bring me to tears, to keep me up at night, to turn this body once again into a filthy, fat, wretched thing... How could I ever explain to him how much I hurt? I try so hard not to be the typical girlfriend, never to be clingy or emotionally dependent, never to argue, and above all, never to feel fat. So

Comments

[xdarkbirdx]

I read this last night but didn't have time or energy to comment.

Just wanted to tell you that I would have felt the exact same way if I'd been in your situation. I would have reacted the same way and I would have done nothing, said nothing about it.
and It doesn't make you the 'typical' girlfriend. fuck that. I know how you feel, and I hate the fact that I sometimes feel as though I have to Avoid At All Costs any sort of action or feeling or expression that makes me sound or seem like 'the typical girl' or 'the typical girlfriend' with the insert male eyeroll.
Seriously fuck that. It's incredibly sexist. Do what you feel. say what you feel. go ahead and act on impulse. don't be afraid, it will make you feel better.
I'm sorry you're feeling so terrible about this. though I can understand. I wish I had some advice against using your eating disorder as a coping mechanism, but alas I can't because I can't think of any other way myself, being deep into it also.
just take care.

[moonshadow3561]

Thanks Ravenna (I know you switched names but that's the one I remember you by). Your comment is really empowering, actually. I gotta read it next time I'm feeling like this.

[_fierceflawless]

oh honey-
guys are so clueless when it comes to this kind of thing. i can't tell you how many times i've had to fight off the same urges after the Boy has said something that makes me feel like my body is occupying too much space (he's been with me for a 15 pound weight change- and i'm struggling w/ similar issues now!)-the truth is that he doesn't want you to be sick, you will sabotage your relationship by seeking reasons to relapse in your Boy's comments...
*hug*
gah, i wish boys weren't such IDIOTS sometimes. i'm sure you look hot in your jeans. and if it makes you feel better, i asked my boy to show me a girl in tight jeans. he pointed at 3 different girls. one was wearing jeans that she looked like she was poured into, one was wearing pretty damn tight jeans (like they showed her ass-crack through her jeans!) and one was wearing what i consider to be tastefully form-skimming jeans. he really didn't differentiate, but would def. say that the girl with the tasteful jeans looked sexy instead of slutty.

[moonshadow3561]

Thanks babe. It's the same thing with Eric -- I've gained about 15 pounds since we started dating (though when I met him, I was 10 pounds heavier than I am now even). I get the feeling that guys don't care about our bodies nearly as much as we do. I mean, hell, the first thing he said to me when I told him I was coming home from IP was "So, are your boobs bigger now?" So, yeah, I'm sure you're right, that he's rather I be healthy than model-skinny. Guys are just so, so clueless, it's crazy. I was thinking of maybe having a talk with him just to explain it, that I am not mad at him, and I know he doesn't mean to hurt me, but that I am extremely sensitive to any weight-related comments, and so if I get upset, he can understand why, and know it's not him, it's just something I have issues with.

And besides dude, baggy jeans are so not flattering! I like to actually look like I have a shape under there, as opposed to like, looking like I'm some giant inflated plastic bag or something!

[livingalie21]

I'm sorry about the rough night. I think right now at least, one of the harshest issues that surround my problems w/myself and my body are the insane ways i blow every little comment out of proportion. Its so frustrating

urgh i know that feeling

[snowmouth]

i know guys don't mean what we think they mean, but can't they just be quiet sometimes? i hate that feeling...that overanalyzing of one comment, wanting to lay into the person who said it to find out what he really meant, and it taking about 6 months before you can forget he said it. i hate it.

i'm sure your jeans look amazing on you.