"How about you? Is there someone else?"
"No, but... but there's the dream of someone else."
today, and yesterday, and last friday have been really bad days. but i've made myself believe they were good days. it seems like EVERYONE(including val and anthony, of all people!) decided to go off and be a jerk to tracy! like everything people have done to me these past few days has seriously, deeply hurt me. and one of my cherished friendships is dying. i've cried more in these past 4 days than i have in probably the past 4 years, and i really want it to stop. it seems like every other comment people make to me is something negative. like they're just picking out faults to make fun of me for... like, "hey! as if tracy isn't already all self- conscious and stupid, let's make her feel even more rejected! haha!" it really sucks, and i can't wait for it to stop. this really isn't meant to be mean to val or anthony, because they're usually the most supportive of all my friends... and puh-LEASE don't come up to me and say, "what did i do to you? how did i make you mad? i didn't mean to!" or whatever. i don't want to talk about it. maybe it's a passing faze or something. let's just all forget about it. man, now i'm crying again! i hate it when people make me hate myself.
my legs are soooo ugly... starbucks with travis and valerie was interesting... "be ONE with the chair, val! ONE with the chair!" haha... but the stupid guy gave me a white chocolate mocha FRAPPUCCINO instead of a white chocolate mocha! i noticed that when he told the girl to make it, he said frappuccino after it, but i assumed that's what it was called, and i always leave off the last word or something. i guess since val went before me and ordered a frap, and because it WAS a hot day... they assumed i also wanted a cool drink. they assumed wrong... and i still crave white chocolate mocha. hey, travis... how bout it tomorrow? be a darling... :-)
then he dropped off val at the school, and we came to my house and played neopets! haha! complete nerds, yes we are. then when he was leaving, ohmygosh it was hilarious, he demonstrated "the correct way to tumble headfirst into the back of your pick-up truck" to natalie and ricky, my mexican kiddos next door. after he landed in his truck and got out, looking worn- out, me laughing hysterically, natalie yells, "DO IT AGAIN!" oh dear it was hilarious!
and so it begins. taks math was today. science is tomorrow and history is thursday. which means little homework and lots of time sitting still and thinking, and knowing that if i miss one too many problems, i won't graduate! it's a wonderful feeling, lemme tell ya.
yeah sarah, twelve sounds like a good idea, especially at your house, but the parents will never let me be out that late, especially on a taks night. we shall wait until summer.
oooooh, summer... man, i can't wait. it's gonna be grand.
-tib
today, and yesterday, and last friday have been really bad days. but i've made myself believe they were good days. it seems like EVERYONE(including val and anthony, of all people!) decided to go off and be a jerk to tracy! like everything people have done to me these past few days has seriously, deeply hurt me. and one of my cherished friendships is dying. i've cried more in these past 4 days than i have in probably the past 4 years, and i really want it to stop. it seems like every other comment people make to me is something negative. like they're just picking out faults to make fun of me for... like, "hey! as if tracy isn't already all self- conscious and stupid, let's make her feel even more rejected! haha!" it really sucks, and i can't wait for it to stop. this really isn't meant to be mean to val or anthony, because they're usually the most supportive of all my friends... and puh-LEASE don't come up to me and say, "what did i do to you? how did i make you mad? i didn't mean to!" or whatever. i don't want to talk about it. maybe it's a passing faze or something. let's just all forget about it. man, now i'm crying again! i hate it when people make me hate myself.
my legs are soooo ugly... starbucks with travis and valerie was interesting... "be ONE with the chair, val! ONE with the chair!" haha... but the stupid guy gave me a white chocolate mocha FRAPPUCCINO instead of a white chocolate mocha! i noticed that when he told the girl to make it, he said frappuccino after it, but i assumed that's what it was called, and i always leave off the last word or something. i guess since val went before me and ordered a frap, and because it WAS a hot day... they assumed i also wanted a cool drink. they assumed wrong... and i still crave white chocolate mocha. hey, travis... how bout it tomorrow? be a darling... :-)
then he dropped off val at the school, and we came to my house and played neopets! haha! complete nerds, yes we are. then when he was leaving, ohmygosh it was hilarious, he demonstrated "the correct way to tumble headfirst into the back of your pick-up truck" to natalie and ricky, my mexican kiddos next door. after he landed in his truck and got out, looking worn- out, me laughing hysterically, natalie yells, "DO IT AGAIN!" oh dear it was hilarious!
and so it begins. taks math was today. science is tomorrow and history is thursday. which means little homework and lots of time sitting still and thinking, and knowing that if i miss one too many problems, i won't graduate! it's a wonderful feeling, lemme tell ya.
yeah sarah, twelve sounds like a good idea, especially at your house, but the parents will never let me be out that late, especially on a taks night. we shall wait until summer.
oooooh, summer... man, i can't wait. it's gonna be grand.
-tib