(no subject)
Four in the morning is not an easy hour. There's the physical pain and that's just the start, a rot gut churn from 2 pots of coffee. The healthy twitch in my legs is gone, only the dull pull of anxiety left. Adenosine receptors overloaded to the max. The worst moment comes at 4 AM when you look up and suddenly none of your friends are signed into Facebook. That tiny zero with its odd power to loom so disproportionately to its size--that's an eye I can't stare down. True loneliness in there.
But it's worth it to finally feel the brain still at 4 AM. I wrote a semester-long project tonight, and am soldiering on to the next, and the next 11 pages down, 5 to go. That is if Four AM doesn't get too heavy on my wrists and eyelids and takes my ability to type.
You know, no hour of any day actually means any particular thing. Six AM does not mean fresh starts any more than 12 AM means witches fly or 4 AM means your failures are inescapable. Take it back, 3PM invariably means ice cream time.
But it's worth it to finally feel the brain still at 4 AM. I wrote a semester-long project tonight, and am soldiering on to the next, and the next 11 pages down, 5 to go. That is if Four AM doesn't get too heavy on my wrists and eyelids and takes my ability to type.
You know, no hour of any day actually means any particular thing. Six AM does not mean fresh starts any more than 12 AM means witches fly or 4 AM means your failures are inescapable. Take it back, 3PM invariably means ice cream time.