Fuck-n-A
1. IT RAINED!!!! YEAH! It was a full on thunder and lightning experience in the middle of the night. I awoke to dramatic clouds, the sound of rain on my deck and a feeling that, hopefully, all of this summer will be washed away in a distant memory.
2. That Man is a major freak! WOW, I still can't believe that our friendship has disintigrated in such a short period of time, especially after such a lovely 7 months of friendship. I have decided that all interactions with him are harmful and negative to me and I have chosen not to interact with him anymore because of this. He is blaming, negative and dark and he seems to be transforming anything I say into some really twisted version of what I intended. It's really weird and I can't seem to wrap any sense around it. He has started to get some of my friends into conversation and then bamboozle them with a steady stream of vented shit about me, which is so not cool. I would not mind him talking to them if he really wanted to find out what was up with me, but he seems to just bitch about all the things I have said.
****Side note, I just saw That Man and I was finally able to say, clearly, "I miss you and I love you, but I need space from you, I can't communicate with you positively and I don't think we should be friends now." I am shaking....
3. Single Dad has not ventured to communicate with me with me at all. I have called twice, emailed him and even went to a gig of his (though he was in "Band Mode" and was unable to talk). I am letting him go, too. Fuck, why can't men communicate? Fuck all their fathers and grandfathers who never taught them to communicate well and positively.
4. Anya has been constantly saying to me lately, "Mommy, when is daddy going to live with us again? I really miss us being all together." Fuck, break my heart... I have to tell her, "Honey, I really love daddy, he's a great person, but he and I don't do well living together. I am sorry, sweety, but it's not going to happen."
I just want to cry because I know this really hurts her.
2. That Man is a major freak! WOW, I still can't believe that our friendship has disintigrated in such a short period of time, especially after such a lovely 7 months of friendship. I have decided that all interactions with him are harmful and negative to me and I have chosen not to interact with him anymore because of this. He is blaming, negative and dark and he seems to be transforming anything I say into some really twisted version of what I intended. It's really weird and I can't seem to wrap any sense around it. He has started to get some of my friends into conversation and then bamboozle them with a steady stream of vented shit about me, which is so not cool. I would not mind him talking to them if he really wanted to find out what was up with me, but he seems to just bitch about all the things I have said.
****Side note, I just saw That Man and I was finally able to say, clearly, "I miss you and I love you, but I need space from you, I can't communicate with you positively and I don't think we should be friends now." I am shaking....
3. Single Dad has not ventured to communicate with me with me at all. I have called twice, emailed him and even went to a gig of his (though he was in "Band Mode" and was unable to talk). I am letting him go, too. Fuck, why can't men communicate? Fuck all their fathers and grandfathers who never taught them to communicate well and positively.
4. Anya has been constantly saying to me lately, "Mommy, when is daddy going to live with us again? I really miss us being all together." Fuck, break my heart... I have to tell her, "Honey, I really love daddy, he's a great person, but he and I don't do well living together. I am sorry, sweety, but it's not going to happen."
I just want to cry because I know this really hurts her.