Alone again

[inverted_moon]

It's still hard to believe, she ponders about it as she stares at her right hand for the millionth time in the last week. It's the hand with which she used to call her transformation powers. It's also the hand that hold a certain Mercury's hand for a good while... Before Usagi ruined everything again and had to start again from zero

Comments

[soft_shitennou]

"You are troubled?" The mild voice and its question belong to a white-haired Zoisite. Pale eyes seek out Usagi's, but he does not intrude by pressing the issue any further than the simple inquiry. He will listen if she speaks.

[inverted_moon]

She didn't notice the nexus, much less Zoisite's energy. Or rather, she felt it but thought it was just remnants of her Zoisite's energy or simply her mind playing tricks. She's obviously surprised for hearing Zoisite talk, though when she looks it's obvious it's not the one from this world.

Usagi offers a rather serene smile despite her current general mood, well, she is troubled, but she is also rather calm. Life has suddenly seemed to become very simple, but it's still full of questions and decisions. "Zoisite, welcome. I'm fine, I was just thinking and getting used to the empty house again;" she answers.

[soft_shitennou]

"You are alone," Zoisite observes. Loneliness, in itself, is something he has never felt. He has never needed people beyond the master and the other shitennou, and even with them nearby in the palace, he is often content simply to keep to himself in his own rooms, filling the halls with his music for all of them to enjoy.

[inverted_moon]

There's a difference between being alone by your own will than being alone because you can't be with anyone else. But really, she doesn't mind loneliness, she knows it, is familiar with it. She just has to get used to it again after two long years.

She nods calmly; "I am. Everyone is back where they belong." She sounds happy about it, despite the solitude, things are right when people are where they belong. She stands up and smiles at him; "Uhm, do you want tea or something? I should offer you something since you're in my home."

[soft_shitennou]

This Zoisite has not yet felt the crushing desperation of being alone against enormous odds to protect his most important person. In fact, it is still his preference to remain withdrawn and cloistered.

So he does not truly understand Usagi's troubles. But he is a sympathetic ear nonetheless, and he treats her calmly and kindly.

"I would like it very much," he answers her. But even as he answers her, he wonders at her news.

"The sailor senshi no longer visit Earth?"

[inverted_moon]

She moves to the kitchen though she can be seen from the living room. "Tea?" She offers as she starts preparing it.

Usagi pauses a second at his question and shakes her head; "Sorry, I didn't specify. They aren't still back to their planets, but they are all together in Japan now. And the shitennou are with their master of course."

[soft_shitennou]

Then all is as it should be. And yet...

"You are not with them?" His eyes narrow slightly as he considers this piece of information. Why would the princess' senshi desert her? He thinks briefly of Venus; it's all that's necessary to know that abandonment is impossible.

[inverted_moon]

She doesn't answer for a moment, preparing the tea and something to accompany it a bit just in case. "I belong here, not there;" she explains simply. She never belonged there but now that she's just a regular girl there's even less place for her there.

Usagi leans backwards as she prepares everything, smiling at Zoisite calmly; "Many things happened. I lost most of what I was except for this form." But she doesn't regret it. It's better this way, the princess and Sailor Moon are dangerous. At least this way the danger is only Usagi, which isn't very dangerous as things are.

[soft_shitennou]

"They are your guardians," Zoisite points out. Wherever her place is, their place is with her; just as his place is always with the master.

[inverted_moon]

They are Masako's guardians here. But she won't discuss that through that side. "They are Princess Serenity's and Sailor Moon's guardians and companions;" that's how it was once and how it seems to be in other worlds. "I'm just Usagi now. I lost my powers and the ginzuishou was destroyed;" she explains as she returns with a tray with tea and a snack to accompany it, serving him a cup easily.

[soft_shitennou]

And so they have abandoned her? For the sake of fairness, Zoisite wonders for a moment how he would treat the master if he were suddenly no longer the prince. (Though how that could be, how anyone could cease to be born as prince any more than they could cease to be a man or woman, is beyond him.)

He would stay at the not-master's side. He is certain of that. In the nexus, he has maintained that respectful guardianship with several of the master's alternates.

"Why have they not remained with you?" he finally asks a direct question.

[inverted_moon]

Why does he make it so difficult? Usagi sighs; "I may not be the princess or Sailor Moon anymore, but they are still senshi and princesses of their own planets. They have responsibilities to take care of, and my current life hardly matches those. It's simply that it's hard to remain close with such different schedules;" but really, she never was with them to begin with. But telling him that doesn't serve for anything.

"We remain in close contact thought, we talk everyday with our communicators;" more like they call her, she has a heart attack and then has an awkward conversation with whoever it was. The last one? It was with Makoto... About plant care. Why would the one who punched her once in their civilian forms and hated her the most call her to discuss plant care is... She doesn't understand it at all.

[soft_shitennou]

"They have left you in danger." Phone call don't cut it. Their responsibility and mission is to be by their princess, whatever state she may be in. Endymion could be reborn tomorrow and not even know he was the prince, and Zoisite would stay at his side.

[inverted_moon]

Usagi just... Stares. "Hardly." Is all she replies with for a moment before she continues; "There's no enemy around right now. They are ensuring it remains that way. How can I be in danger in a world protected by the senshi?"

[soft_shitennou]

"Their place is at the princess' side," Zoisite persists. "They have abandoned their oaths and their honor when they abandoned you."

It must be Venus that changed him, he thinks. A few years ago, he'd have barely taken notice of however the sailor senshi turned on themselves or disgraced themselves. But now, a vision of his wife, proud and noble and loyal, comes to disturb him at the thought that the senshi might not be those things.

[inverted_moon]

Silence.

Usagi takes a deep sigh, reminding herself to remain calm. She already knows enough of this Zoisite sot that she should have really expected that. She already knows as well that he doesn't want to listen to how things work in her world, different from his. Shitennou with the prince, senshi with the princess. Apparently the idea of both shitennou and senshi with the Earth princess is not acceptable.

But it annoys her. Not his insults to the girls, they are no true, she knows it, they know it, whatever he thinks doesn't matter. It's just once again the suggestion, the mention, that the princess, that she is more important than anything else for the senshi. That she has to be. "So they abandon their oaths of protecting their planets and the whole Solar System and lose any trace of honor, just because they aren't protecting me exclusively?" She asks in a leveled tone, low and serious, almost distant, still trying to calm down