(no subject)
so yesterday i went bowling with Matt, Terri, Scott and some others for Matts birthday. i cant believe how much he hasnt changed at all. hes still the same Matt that i became friends with in 10th grade when he sat next to me in bio that first day of class. after bowling we went out for dinner and when i got home i got all these "what if" questions into my head. so many questions. most of them i dont even know where they came from. but some did surface when i was talking to robbie. im so glad that even after everything that happened to us, we can still be so close enough to tell each other really personal feelings. some of my questions were answered but others i think im too afraid to ask. and there could be a bunch of factors that are scaring me about those questions. one is that my hate of change is stopping me from asking them. another is that if i do ask them and things change and not in a good way, then ill regret asking it. but then again i could regret not asking the question in the first place because something good could happen from me asking it. too many things that i dont feel like factoring in because im lazy or theyre not important enough to care about. so yeah.
so today is yom kippur. the day that you are supposed to ask for forgiveness from others for the pain or suffering youve caused to them this past year. well yes i do admit ive hurt some people this year. but people have also hurt me. so instead of me asking for forgiveness and forgiving.. im not going to do either. im staying completely neutral. yes people might say that i should forgive and be the better person.. but sometimes i feel like im ALWAYS the better person. and i think this year i realized that and i finally got enough courage to actually make changes in my life and for the better too. so thats why i am finally acting a little bit selfish and not forgiving or asking for forgiveness.
*sigh*
so today is yom kippur. the day that you are supposed to ask for forgiveness from others for the pain or suffering youve caused to them this past year. well yes i do admit ive hurt some people this year. but people have also hurt me. so instead of me asking for forgiveness and forgiving.. im not going to do either. im staying completely neutral. yes people might say that i should forgive and be the better person.. but sometimes i feel like im ALWAYS the better person. and i think this year i realized that and i finally got enough courage to actually make changes in my life and for the better too. so thats why i am finally acting a little bit selfish and not forgiving or asking for forgiveness.
*sigh*