those damn dreams again
so yea i've been having my reacurring dreams once again. usually that means something fucked up is gonna happen soon.
wont surprise me in the slightest if its something devastating.also wont surprise me if it has to do with my father, as it usually does.
but then i've also been having some new dreams. and it's fucking with me. dude seriously, stay out of my fucking dreams, you are making them nightmares with your ugly mug.-no i wont explain who i'm talking about, they're my dreams.this person doesnt have an LJ and probly doesnt read mine anymore but oh well.-
meh i've been in a shitty mood lately. for a while now.
i'm quitting school. dropping out on friday probably. and im gonna either go to an alternative high school.like bridge or something. or, the more appealing option, i'm going to jobcore.probably in MD.i need desperatly to get out of springfield for a while. i've found myself in too much trouble.and im way to stressed in this living situation.i go to school, get drama, home, drama some more. out with friends, ha more drama. yea, it's time to get outta here.me and me mum have a habit of picking up and leaving but it's been a while. and since my mom is so hellbent on staying close to family, imt aking it upon myself to carry out our routine.i'll be back of course.every vacation.but yea i think im just gonna get my diploma my own way instead of in public school. duno if any of you know anythign about the job corps, but it's a great oppurtunity for me i think. my cousin justin (who by the way was a complete fuck up in school like i am) went to jobcore and graduated with his diploma an dhas a whole new outlook on life now as well. he's really made me proud of him. so hopefuly i can do the same and make him proud of me, and prove to my fucking family that im not as much of a loser as they tell me i am.yea so im pretty excited.
party at ashley's this friday. i intend to get royally fucked up. i need the relief. and yes i know im contradicting myself about when i said i need to get away from trouble. but hey, why not enjoy it while im in springfield still. cuz i'll be a "good kid" once im gone.
yea.. im definetly gonna just get all this over with and get my diploma and then look into going to a good college for a few years.im not gonna throw my life away again. im really not.
im supposed to be going to school tomorrow, but i dont think i can even bring myself to go.and i dont think i can bring myself to go see ms levister during lunch and tell her that im dropping out. but i think maybe she knows i've got my own way of doing things. my mom understands, so why wouldnt she? i hope she wll. i hope i can work up the courage to talk to her about it.
i guess this all isnt the traditional way of doing things, but it's better than my original plan. i was just gonna give up completely. i think this'l work out better for me.
i've got a lot on my mind right now, and i wanna type it out so bad, but i cant seem to put hardly any of it into words. i suppose it'l just be anothernight of going to bed with an overworking mind. nothing new though.
i think im gonna lay down now since this entry isnt as productive as i had hoped, it isnt helping me like i had hoped because nothing is coming out.
night.
wont surprise me in the slightest if its something devastating.also wont surprise me if it has to do with my father, as it usually does.
but then i've also been having some new dreams. and it's fucking with me. dude seriously, stay out of my fucking dreams, you are making them nightmares with your ugly mug.-no i wont explain who i'm talking about, they're my dreams.this person doesnt have an LJ and probly doesnt read mine anymore but oh well.-
meh i've been in a shitty mood lately. for a while now.
i'm quitting school. dropping out on friday probably. and im gonna either go to an alternative high school.like bridge or something. or, the more appealing option, i'm going to jobcore.probably in MD.i need desperatly to get out of springfield for a while. i've found myself in too much trouble.and im way to stressed in this living situation.i go to school, get drama, home, drama some more. out with friends, ha more drama. yea, it's time to get outta here.me and me mum have a habit of picking up and leaving but it's been a while. and since my mom is so hellbent on staying close to family, imt aking it upon myself to carry out our routine.i'll be back of course.every vacation.but yea i think im just gonna get my diploma my own way instead of in public school. duno if any of you know anythign about the job corps, but it's a great oppurtunity for me i think. my cousin justin (who by the way was a complete fuck up in school like i am) went to jobcore and graduated with his diploma an dhas a whole new outlook on life now as well. he's really made me proud of him. so hopefuly i can do the same and make him proud of me, and prove to my fucking family that im not as much of a loser as they tell me i am.yea so im pretty excited.
party at ashley's this friday. i intend to get royally fucked up. i need the relief. and yes i know im contradicting myself about when i said i need to get away from trouble. but hey, why not enjoy it while im in springfield still. cuz i'll be a "good kid" once im gone.
yea.. im definetly gonna just get all this over with and get my diploma and then look into going to a good college for a few years.im not gonna throw my life away again. im really not.
im supposed to be going to school tomorrow, but i dont think i can even bring myself to go.and i dont think i can bring myself to go see ms levister during lunch and tell her that im dropping out. but i think maybe she knows i've got my own way of doing things. my mom understands, so why wouldnt she? i hope she wll. i hope i can work up the courage to talk to her about it.
i guess this all isnt the traditional way of doing things, but it's better than my original plan. i was just gonna give up completely. i think this'l work out better for me.
i've got a lot on my mind right now, and i wanna type it out so bad, but i cant seem to put hardly any of it into words. i suppose it'l just be anothernight of going to bed with an overworking mind. nothing new though.
i think im gonna lay down now since this entry isnt as productive as i had hoped, it isnt helping me like i had hoped because nothing is coming out.
night.