(no subject)
So, Sonic sucked. Glad that that's gonna be over soon.
Searching for a car sucks. Also glad that that's going to be over soon as well.
I'm ready for a vehicle. I'm also ready to work at Maggie Moo's again.
I will find another way to make money. I don't care. I fucking hate working at fast food places, and especially drive thrus.
Being a shift leader at Maggie Moo's will give me more hours than what I had before.
It will also give me the time, the energy, and the drive to finish what I have started.
I will get my adjusting license and start my career. I've done basically no classwork since I've started working at Sonic.
It makes no sense for me to put off my future because I'm at some idiotically draining minimum wage job. Either I will work at a place I love, or I will work at a place where I am not grossly overqualified.
Screaming and belittling and disrespecting is so unprofessional. If I really need the money, I can find some place way better to work than that trash hole.
Anyways. I am moving into Marcus' house. A place that will cost less, where I will be living literally on the other side of a door from one of the only souls in my life that I know I will always love and be loved by, and will always be around. We haven't lived this near each other since we were children, sharing a room, sleeping in a bunk bed. We are hardly alike at all, but he is and always has been one of my absolute best friends. My little brother is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met, and I can't wait to be sharing a place with him again.
I will have less. I want less things. I want to throw away the majority of the stuff that I have, because it is useless and just weighs me down. I never use 75% of the crap that I have anyways, I should really just sell everything on Ebay and start over. Start with an empty room and fill it with useful things. Start with an empty back yard and fill it with life. I can't wait to have a vegetable garden.
Weirdly enough, I think joining and living in a commune would be really nice.
I need to find people on my wavelength. I always love it when Dad comes to visit, because it makes me remember that I'm not crazy for thinking and understanding reality deeply and abstractly. He makes me remember that there are indeed people that ride the same wave, that feel and understand and think about life like I do. Sometimes I get to feeling so lonely and misunderstood. I feel so positive and idealistic about living and connecting, and there are always those that try to make me think realistically. Realism is relevant to the extent that what is real is real. Idealism is relevant to the extent that what could be real, could be real. Some things are, and that's great. That's solid. Necessary. Good to have a good grasp of. But the things that could be are all in the realm of potential. I hate it when people try to ruin the could be by pointing out what is, or what is most likely if we are too trapped or apathetic to work towards anything different. The "could be" is positive, hopeful, forward-thinking. Inspiring. The focusing on the "is" feels like you're locking in reality. It feels pessimistic. I don't want or need to focus on thinking in ways that trap... I want to focus on potential. On the positive, exciting, thrilling things reality potentially has to offer me. I want to always think in opportunity and potential. I will not settle for grueling, have-to reality. I will always be grasping for more. I will always make myself happy.
Therefore, I am moving into a new house. One room, next to no bills to be responsible for. Beautiful view of a backyard I am welcome to destroy and recreate.
I am getting rid of my stuff. I am ready to downsize. If anyone is interested in taking some of my things, feel free to let me know.
I am getting a new car. I will spend most of my current stash of money on getting this car, but having it will mean that I am free to travel, and that I am free to be independent. Having a car again will mean that I am free to come and go as I please.
I am quitting Sonic and going back to work at Maggie Moo's. Being happy and not stressed is much more important than having money. Money will come, I just have to make a point to make sure I find it. Do what you love and the money will follow, right? At the worst, I can take on side-jobs, temp work, clean houses, or just find a place that will pay me better. I mean, I have a degree, I'm sure I could find something if I made a point to look around for something more. I'll keep an eye out for opportunities. Who knows? I'm just ready for change, and if this is how I bring it about, then bring it on.