everything changed from being ok
It is after 5pm and I am still pretty trashed from last night and have two papers I haven't written and am not wearing pants. It is strangely beautiful, and I should go to the bathroom soon and get some water, and probably even put on pants. I am listening to a mix cd I made when I was probably 16 and remembering yearning for breakups. I sure don't yearn for breakups anymore, except maybe a little secretly because what else would explain it? Soon I will go to the apartment, and maybe eat food, but I am probably too trashed to drive there and someone will come who will drive.
This is a journal, and in a journal you write about what happened to you, and how you feel about what happened, and just how you feel in general. It has a lot to do with subjectivity and maybe a little bit to do with Rousseau's Confessions, but that is all bullshit because there is a performative aspect to publication, even on the internet livejournal where maybe one person will read it. Confession probably doesn't work if it is secret like it should be, but it seems a mistake to make any kind of definitive statement on the matter.
***time for getting water and just sitting back to take a little break sometimes***
Went to the bathroom, in pants. Sometimes it's good to think about rules or at least guidelines of propriety. People think sometimes about propriety taken too far, and they think about the destructive or potentially destructive aspects and decide to throw it out the window. This also seems to happen with tradition and ritual. I think sometimes people may think about the necessity for art to break through the codes of propriety and then reach some (in my opinion) mistaken or misguided conclusions such as: the codes of propriety should always be broken and/or: any time you manage to really break through these codes what you are making is, by defintion, art. This is just not always true.
There are times, and then there are other times. Sometimes having a good night, and new friends, and no more hair is better than having two papers, even when they're due tomorrow. No, especially when they're due tomorrow. It makes things so much simpler, in a way similar to how smoking gives you a never fully satisfiable but easy to concretely address desire. I like to think about how I'm going to write a paper tonight that will be four pages in palatino linotype, and it will be about tree imagery in Beloved.
This is a journal, and in a journal you write about what happened to you, and how you feel about what happened, and just how you feel in general. It has a lot to do with subjectivity and maybe a little bit to do with Rousseau's Confessions, but that is all bullshit because there is a performative aspect to publication, even on the internet livejournal where maybe one person will read it. Confession probably doesn't work if it is secret like it should be, but it seems a mistake to make any kind of definitive statement on the matter.
***time for getting water and just sitting back to take a little break sometimes***
Went to the bathroom, in pants. Sometimes it's good to think about rules or at least guidelines of propriety. People think sometimes about propriety taken too far, and they think about the destructive or potentially destructive aspects and decide to throw it out the window. This also seems to happen with tradition and ritual. I think sometimes people may think about the necessity for art to break through the codes of propriety and then reach some (in my opinion) mistaken or misguided conclusions such as: the codes of propriety should always be broken and/or: any time you manage to really break through these codes what you are making is, by defintion, art. This is just not always true.
There are times, and then there are other times. Sometimes having a good night, and new friends, and no more hair is better than having two papers, even when they're due tomorrow. No, especially when they're due tomorrow. It makes things so much simpler, in a way similar to how smoking gives you a never fully satisfiable but easy to concretely address desire. I like to think about how I'm going to write a paper tonight that will be four pages in palatino linotype, and it will be about tree imagery in Beloved.