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I have now reached the apex of a familiar little place I like to call TOTALLY APESHIT INSANE. I have just been ranting at the last minute about how when Calidore saw the graces in The Faerie Queene, it was just like when Titania seduced Bottom. BUT GUESS WHAT: TOTALLY FUCKING DIFFERENT! THEY BEAR VERY LITTLE RELATION TO EACH OTHER. This was the tenth in the series of mini-essays I had a to write as a take-home final, and I just let it loose in the worst kind of way. "Uh...Titania was really beautiful, but also dangerous. In fact, some of her danger was in her beauty. What a conundrum! Bottom knew well enough to be afraid of her. The Graces are also really beautiful, and um, they can distract you from the shit you're supposed to be doing? Oh, wait, I think I see them now-" I AM GOING TO FAIL THIS MOTHERFUCKING CLASS. I have nothing, NOTHING to say about the Graces. They dance in a circle, and um, seasons are in a circle? Allegories? Love? What?
Now in this oh-so-conducive-to-cranking-out-good-solid-work mood, I have to go write some shit about Anna Karenina. It will probably run something like this: JESUS CHRIST ANNA SOMETIMES YOU CAN MAKE OLD THINGS NEW AGAIN, YOU JUST HAVE TO BREATHE SOME LIFE INTO THEM AND STOP BEING AN ASS. ps: You're not that hot. It's supposed to be about estates or some shit. Here is the thing that fucks me up about Tolstoy: HE MAKES ME INTO A FUCKING CONSERVATIVE TO THE MAX. It's like, well, obviously for the ladies the only meaning in life comes from popping out the babies and serving their husbands. Everyone just needs to get married and take care of the massive estates that of course they inherited from their aristocratic ancestors. Except for the peasants. Oh, those lucky peasants! They just get to work all the time and be connected to the land! How delightful for them. I feel like Imelda fucking Marcos.
OK! SPEAKING OF WHICH (WHOM?)! That lady is even more apeshit insane than I am. She was obsessed with bringing "the sparkle of cleanliness" to the Philippino people rather than say, food and water and housing. She acknowledged her own "special ability" to "not see the ugly side of things." Quote: I just have this special way of being able to turn my back on things. And then they elected her daughter and son as Congresswoman and Governor respectively. Maybe what people really do need is an opulent fascist figurehead. JESUS H CHRIST!!!! She was like, isn't it nice how I had so many shoes? I think people really appreciated that. NO IMELDA, THAT'S WHAT PUT YOU DOWN IN THE BOOKS OF INFAMY! Also: she kept freaking out over the idea that anyone would think she wasn't beautiful. BUT UGLY IS NOT SUCH A BIG PROBLEM AS EVIL! Oh god, but we're back around to virtue and beauty, and what defintion of virtue and what definition of beauty. She definitely took beauty way literally in a cosmetics-ad way.
I HAVE TO GO BABYSIT NOW! I am worried in my present state I am lacking the patience and calm necessary to childcare. Also, what if I fall asleep at the wheel? Well, all will be well.
Now in this oh-so-conducive-to-cranking-out-good-solid-work mood, I have to go write some shit about Anna Karenina. It will probably run something like this: JESUS CHRIST ANNA SOMETIMES YOU CAN MAKE OLD THINGS NEW AGAIN, YOU JUST HAVE TO BREATHE SOME LIFE INTO THEM AND STOP BEING AN ASS. ps: You're not that hot. It's supposed to be about estates or some shit. Here is the thing that fucks me up about Tolstoy: HE MAKES ME INTO A FUCKING CONSERVATIVE TO THE MAX. It's like, well, obviously for the ladies the only meaning in life comes from popping out the babies and serving their husbands. Everyone just needs to get married and take care of the massive estates that of course they inherited from their aristocratic ancestors. Except for the peasants. Oh, those lucky peasants! They just get to work all the time and be connected to the land! How delightful for them. I feel like Imelda fucking Marcos.
OK! SPEAKING OF WHICH (WHOM?)! That lady is even more apeshit insane than I am. She was obsessed with bringing "the sparkle of cleanliness" to the Philippino people rather than say, food and water and housing. She acknowledged her own "special ability" to "not see the ugly side of things." Quote: I just have this special way of being able to turn my back on things. And then they elected her daughter and son as Congresswoman and Governor respectively. Maybe what people really do need is an opulent fascist figurehead. JESUS H CHRIST!!!! She was like, isn't it nice how I had so many shoes? I think people really appreciated that. NO IMELDA, THAT'S WHAT PUT YOU DOWN IN THE BOOKS OF INFAMY! Also: she kept freaking out over the idea that anyone would think she wasn't beautiful. BUT UGLY IS NOT SUCH A BIG PROBLEM AS EVIL! Oh god, but we're back around to virtue and beauty, and what defintion of virtue and what definition of beauty. She definitely took beauty way literally in a cosmetics-ad way.
I HAVE TO GO BABYSIT NOW! I am worried in my present state I am lacking the patience and calm necessary to childcare. Also, what if I fall asleep at the wheel? Well, all will be well.